2007

Currently Listening : 2*Sweet - Rested Eyes Tell No Lies

Well, seeing that is is New Year's Eve, and there's only a few hours left to 2008, I want to make my best of 2007 lists.

Best CD's (In no order, minus the top 3)

15. Across The Universe - OST
14. The Starting Line - Direction
13. Cobra Starship - ¡Viva La Cobra!
12. The Almost - Southern Weather
11. Say Anything - In Defense of The Genre
10. Kanye West - Graduation
9. Circa Survive - On Letting Go
8. Bayside - The Walking Wounded
7. Tegan & Sara - The Con
6. The Academy Is... - Santi
5. Relient K - Five Score and Seven Years Ago
4. Paramore - Riot!
3. The Graduate - AnhedoniaI never would have thought this album would mean so much to me, but it does. Everytime I listen to it I find a new song to love, a lyric that is so much more amazing, and music that just blows my mind. Anhedonia is the inability to gain pleasure from enjoyable experiences, but this album is the exact opposite of that.

2. Fall Out Boy - Infinity On HighYes, Fall Out Boy is in the number 2 spot, oops. This album was the perfect way to start my year. It's so much fun and shows all the changes and advances in this band. I still don't understand what half the songs are about, but I like it that way. The music has matured and sounds better than ever. It's completely different from anything FOB has put out obviously, but it's still a FOB album, and it's amazing just as that.

1. The Used - Lies For The Liars


Wait, what? FOB isn't in the number one place? Why has this phenomenon happened? Simply because the Used lyrics meant a lot to me than Fall Out Boy's did. Don't get me wrong, I love IOH, but LFTL was just better for me. The Used have grown up so much over the past few years, and you can definitely hear that in these songs. They're catchy, heavy, light, deep, and all that good jazz. The used never ceases to amaze me, and this album will forever be one of my favorites.

Best Shows (No order, minus # 1...46 shows in one year, not too shabby ;])

1. Taking Back Sunday, Saosin, The Bled @ Plush - 9/4
2. My Chemical Romance, Muse @ BankAtlantic Center - 4/22
3. Butch Walker, Rockett @ Revolution - 4/23
4. The Used, Army of Me, Josephine Collective @ House of Blues - 9/5
4. Fall Out Boy, New Found Glory, The Early November, Permanent Me @ Hard Rock - 1/20
5. Circa Survive, Hours, Fear Before the March of Flames, Deer & the Headlights @ Fuel - 10/23
6. The Hives @ Jack Rabbits - 10/19
7. Rise Against, Silverstein, Comeback Kid @ House of Blues - 6/19
8. Jack's Mannequin, Sugarcult @ Edmund Center - 3/31
9. Underoath, Norma Jean, Maylene & the Sons of Disaster, The Glass Ocean @ Plush - 5/13
10. Aaron Gillespie, JT Woodruff, Ronnie Winter, Anthony Raneri, Josh Moore @ Social - 12/29

Best Movies
1. Across The Universe

I don't really care much about any others.

Best Memories

1. Meeting Bert McCracken...twice.
2. Meeting Patrick, Tim, Chris, etc etc etc, and basically everyone I had left to meet, hah.
3. Getting in line at 3am for My Chem, and still not being first.
4. Meeting Toni during spring break.
5. Being on stage for Chiodos at Warped tour.
6. My surprise birthday party and getting my Nikon.
7. Taste of Chaos being canceled, and going to Orlando for the other one.
8. Bobrah/Gerber
9. Getting a job.
10. Razzmatazz with Immunity.

Well, that's about it. 2007 is honestly my favorite year to date. I had my highs, my lows and my in betweens, but overall it's been a year to never forget. I love the outcome of everything so far, and if this was some sort of sneak peak to next year, well then I'm far beyond ready. 2008 has me excited, scared, nervous, and anxious. I can't wait to have even more memories and see where this road takes me.

Let the good times roll.

Music, Life, Love, Lust, Pain

Currently Listening : Sigur Rós - Agætis Byrjun

Yesterday Amber, Vik, and I went down to the Social in Orlando and attended To Write Love On Her Arm's : Heavy and Light. I will not regret this trip because it was one of the most moving experiences I have ever had.

You don't go to a show to hear people talk, but that was the absolute highlight of my night. The discussion between JT Woodruff, Ashley Calvert, and Jaime (also with Anthony and Aaron) was one of the most amazing but yet saddest things I've ever seen and heard. It was a beautiful night though. Seeing everyone plays some songs acoustic, and everyone being there as a community, a family, and there for one cause made me feel so good and so happy to be apart of. Also, finally seeing Renee was incredible. TWLOHA is one of the best movements out there and it's so easy to be apart of, no matter who you are.

I live this whole "being alive" thing. Help/Hope; It's always there.

Amber's been with us since Friday, and she leave today. I gave her the best Christmas gift uhm, ever? Yes. (Andrew Hanson's F) Tomorrow is the last day of 2007, and Christmas Break is over in 3 days. I'm satisfied with all of this.

Facts:
Anthony was my favorite last night.

I needed this

Currently Listening : Tegan & Sara - I Was Married

So everyone was in on it. Every single last one of the people closest to me. You guys are the biggest failures ever, but I guess that's why I love you all the best. So my mom, Vik, Kristen, Amber + family, and I don't know, Blackey too I guess were all in on this lovely little surprise party for me. How I didn't find out, I have NO idea, cause you guys all suck at hiding things from me. But I must say you did an awesome job. I felt all kinds of incredible and special, and it's the absolute highlight of my living in Florida. I really felt at home and like I really had friends. I mean, I KNOW I have friends, but when you have a surprise party thrown for you, the feeling is like...a million fireworks going off in your head? Yeah, something like that. I love you guys.

You know what else I love? MY NEW CAMERA :

Yes, this beautiful object plus about a million accessories, belongs to ME. My mom is the most amazing mom ever cause I know this baby cost a beast-load. But she knows this camera is all I wanted and cared for and it's what's gonna help my (our) life out. This camera is my new life.

This Christmas was the best one I've had in a long long long time. It made me feel normal again, and like the pas 2 years were finally worth it. I love my life so much right now.

And I love my best friends.
And I love my family.
Love love love love.


smile.

So it's forreal...

I'm 18, officially.

So it's a milestone age right? I can vote, buy lottery tickets, cigarettes, porn (lol), and some other things. I'm an "adult." What does it mean? I don't really know yet, but I'm happy to be 18, and if I could, I'd like to stay this age for a few years.

17 was probably one of my favorite ages so far. I matured and realized a lot about myself and others. It was a conditioning age and I know it was during a time in my life where I started to figure myself out. I'm happy with everything in my life right now, and to start off my 18th year like this is awesome, really.

I'm going to bed now, then waking up to open my 18 gifts. After that, it's all a party and I'm going to enjoy my day to the very fullest. We're having cake at night, then I can open my 2 birthday gifts which I'm most excited for.

Smile a lot today everyone, life can't be better.

Merry Christmas.

Christmas Eve

< 24 hours and I'll be legal



sweet.

1 week down

Currently Watching : Jay Leno (repeat w/ Robert Dinero)

The first week of break is over. I feel like I've done nothing, and it sucks. (Only partially true.) I guess I could've been more 'productive,' per say, but you know what? I like just bumming around sometimes. Plus, I still have one more week to do whatever. (Don't you just love procrastination?)

I got my first Christmas present today, from my grandma:


Ballin'

Okay, I won't lie, I didn't walk into Journey's saying I wanted all white vans, and I still know I could've picked something else, but what's done is done and that's the way the cookie crumbles. (Hopefully) I will have some extra $$$ and be able to but another pair of vans, because we all know that's all I wear.

National Treasure 2 came out today. I have been waiting since 2004 when the first movie ended for this day, so you'd think I'd go see it, right? No, of course not. My grandma isn't a big movie person so ill probably have to wait til she leaves on the 8th to see it. I'll live (impatiently).

I'm beginning to realize how dull this (all) is.

Confused?

It's rather funny

Currently Listening : ATU Soundtrack

That once Christmas Break starts I actually post daily, though I have nothing to write about.

Well, my grandma flew in on the 18th. I haven't seen her since July 2006, and for my mom, sister and I, who used to live with her, that's a REALLY long time to not see someone. I really love my grandma a lot, because she still cares and spoils me to the max. She's my absolute favorite person in my messed up family, and I'd love it if she moved in with us again. Who knows...We've mostly been catching up with old neighborhood gossip and family drama. It's so great to hear about everything even with as much as I miss it this time of year.

Today we drove to Lakeland to bless the house that she's trying to sell. Yeah, we're really religious folk, it's dandy. I don't know what other plans we have for the rest of break, but I know I don't want it to end.

5.
more.
days.
!!!

Chicago is so 2 years ago.

Currently Listening : Fall Out Boy

When I woke up 2 years ago this very day I knew what I was doing. I was going down to the Aragon, sitting out there for 12 hours and freezing to a near frostbite experience. I was going to see Fall Out Boy, and it was going to be the night oif my life. Was it? You bet your bottom dollar.

I froze. I complained. I made friends. I had the best day I could have ever wished for. And, I saw my 4 favorite boys during the last few hours of my being home. The very last person I met/talked to was the onle and only Wentz. (Not to leave out actually meeting Katie for the first time!) That was my last night in Chicago and I couldn't have dreamt of it being a better one.

I miss my city so much. Tonight was the night I said goodbye to her. It was my favorite night, ever. She's a beauty and I want to see her again. Her name is Chicago and she's so 2 years ago. Midwest fo lyfe, I miss (everything about) you.

The 16th was my last day of school , and tomorrow is the actual day I moved. I may be dwelling on these things, but its just the fact that I miss being home. I like my new city a whole bunch, but there isn't a place in the world that compares to Chicago. I can't wait to go back home.

I think

Currently Listening : The Format - Pick Me Up

You think something is going on? Nothing is. Or...is it? I am so confused. We're awesome friends though, and that makes me REALLY happy.

Vik and I just changed, for the better. We rule, basically. Yeah, I like my little sister, on a good day.

I have to finish cleaning now, because my grandma comes tomorrow. AKA, MY LIFE IS ABOUT IT IMPROVE BY LIKE A MILLION POINTS.

repeat, repeat, repeat.

Currently Listening : The Graduate - Justified (Demo)

ITS CHRISTMAS BREAK!

I say it a lot right now, but really honestly and truly, this whole turning 18 thing freaks me out. It makes me want to be 18 for another whole year.Things and rules at work change, legal things, and...I don't know. Being underage is just easier for me. I'm excited though...I mean seriously, it's 18! Then 21 comes...and then your just old. Haha.

ineedanewjob. okay.

Hey, I really like my best friends and buying gifts for them. It makes my day to give someone an awesome gift and see them love it. Yeah, it's awesome to get stuff back, but the feeling you get being the awesome person at the moment is so much more amazing.

Dude. Sometimes I just don't know how I feel about you man. It's like...you have a split personality? I really don't even know. Let's go back to March this year and just be friends again, and forget about that cold night in November. Awesome? Yes.

FACTS
WP COMING SOON.

beep beep beep

Currently Listening : It's Like Love - Keep Your Eyes On Me

Now this is weird and awkward and kinda off odd, but it's better like this. At least, for me it is.

Tonight there will be shooting stars and I'd love to witness some o make some wishes. It is Christmas time, and I'm told I'm needy, so those could come in handy.

I notice all these friendships and relationships turning to mush and drama at school. It makes me happy that I don't have to deal with all of that. Honestly, I only have a handful of friends at school and it really helps prevent all of that. All my other friends are in Chicago and you know, I miss them, but sometimes the distance helps. After you hang out with someone SO MANY TIMES and see them so often, you kinda get tired of them, you know? I will say though, 2 years is a long time to be separated, but in the end, it's probably still for the good. I feel there's great stuff in store for my friends and I in 2008.

When it's over, it's over. You're getting O N E more chance, take it or leave it.

FACTS:
Drastic changes soon!
Christmas break in 2 days!
I like exclamation points!

public

Currently Listening : GlassJAw- Pink Roses

Because of our dissolving friendship, this will no longer be between us. Sorry.

Thursday was Amber's Birthday. We had a surprise "party" (hahaha) at Sushi Cafe. I'm really mad that her gift hasn't come yet, but I know once she gets it she'll pass out so I can't wait for that. I really love making my best friends extremely happy.

One week of school left until Break. I C A N T W A I T .

I'm in the mood to read The Catcher In The Rye right now. This is my favorite book ever. I really don't know why, I just really love it. I know the moving is coming out...eventually. I'm still unsure about how I feel about this. Whatever.

FACTS:
I would have gone to Vermont with Holden.

because i should be sleeping (partwo)

Currently Listening : Anberlin - The Feel Good Drag

I am the most indecisive/pessimistic person I know. Ever. I'd LOVE to think I'm not, but I know I am...it comes naturally, what a gift.

Saosin - Show Me Yo Booty Hole

When people say that money doesn't make you happy they are lying. I honestly don't care what anyone says, if I was ballin' I'd be ecstatic. Not just for the moment either, for a really really long time. Whatever though, I guess that's just me.

JamisonParker - Paper, Rock, Scissors

FACTS:
Applied at Michael's today.
BROKE.
SK BILL IS LATE! >:|
I hate posting 2 times in a day.

because I should be sleeping

Currently Watching : Iron Chef America

Really, honestly and truly...I need a new job. I never wanted to be one of those kids who goes through about 10 jobs in a year and all that. I wanted to have one job, be satisfied with it, and have fun.

When I started out at Jamba, and still to this day, I love working there. The friends I've made and the laughs and good times are really awesome, but I know that its all coming to an end. Not enough hours, not enough money, etc etc etc. For a first job experience though, it was great. I'd recommend working there to anyone. But alas, all great things must come to an end. Here's to me finding a new job...!

FACTS:
22 days left to commit a crime
Bluebell birthday cake is my new favorite flavor
I want to break my sidekick in half

I'll never be quite normal

Currently Listening : The Almost - Drive There Now

Basically, I hate school. I know, it's totally shocking news...not. I honestly believe some people were just not fit to be in school so long. It's just really not FOR everyone. High school is honestly a waste of 4 years because I have yet to lean something I didn't know before 8th grade.

I know I only have 1 semester left of high school...6 more months. But when you are looking at it from my perspective, it seems like an infinity. I have all my credits to graduate minus .5 math, .5 english, and .5 science. All of my classes are electives this year. Which in turn bores me to no other while I'm actually at school and in class. I'm taking this math class online because I screwed up my sophomore year by moving and whatever, but I got kicked out of it. I don't know what's going on with all that right now, and to be honest don't care much. I hate math and I never do my work, and I'm hardly there anyways, so I'm always doing late work which doesn't help me much either.

Whenever I find a reason to miss school I take it. I just hate going. I hate waking up at 5:30 am, I hate walking outside in the humidity to get to all my classes, I hate having to deal with a bunch of loser kids all day long, and I hate doing school work that is pointless and has nothing to do with what I want to do in life. The only thing I really enjoy about this year is Art class, and I wish I could take it everyday, all day.

I didn't go to school today. Tomorrow is a B day (screw A-B scheduling), and I definitely do not have my books for even attempting homework I have due tomorrow. I'm doing OK this year. Nothing too impressive, but just enough to get me by. I'm dreading progress reports though, I might have screwed myself over.

I'm tired of talking about this, soooo...yeah. I saw The Medic Droid last night. I don't know...I kind of took them as a joke when I first heard Chris Donathon on Myspace earlier this year. They were pretty good though, I mean they are just starting out with these live shows, so they need some practice and all that jazz, then they could be pretty epic. Karate High School stole the show though. It's awesome to see someone you've known about for almost 4 years. They should be more known though, they have the talent and charm.

I doubt I have anything else to write about. I'm just really bored. Bai.

FACTS:
BROKE!
I spent Thanksgiving weekend at Amber's.
WETPENCIL is coming.
BROKE!

you shine so bright.

Currently Listening : Hawthorne Heights - Speeding Up The Octaves

In 9th grade I was pretty lost when it came to music. I liked all of maybe 20 bands; and I didn't just like them, I loved them. The favorites then are the favorites now. I learned about bands the old fashioned way...word of mouth. A kid I was very fond of told me about one specific band once. I looked them up, enjoyed them, and they rapidly became one of those favorites. I saw them quiet a few times, bought their cd's, dvd's, merch, etc. I really did love them

By the time my 10th grade year was half way over, they'd gotten quite a bit of attention and blew up a little. They were still the same guys from the the beginning and I still enjoyed them very much. Then, with the release of their sophomore disc...things changed. They were not the same guys on the outside, but I knew they were on the inside. They weren't the goofy, down for anything guys they had been just a year before. Something was wrong.

The summer 0f 2006 saw the decline of my interest for this band. Solely, for how much they let their label influence them. I hated how they were being treated and how I knew they hated it as well yet could not do a thing about any of it. By Fall of that same year they were touring again, and I would be in attendance accordingly. I had to hide that I still enjoyed the old band I once knew. They changed the type of music I had listened to. That post-punk pop type of sound. Heavier guitars and screaming and just a different sound than that of all the pop-punk bands I had been listening to before them. Liking them was not something accepted in the scene. They were "sellouts" in the public eye. But to the old fans, they were so much more than what everyone else saw and knew. We knew they were the same band from 2004. They had never changed, they had just let the suits control them. That Fall, things changed.

Finally, they broke away from all of that. They went back to their T-Shirts and jeans, and left the outfits and suits. They made me so proud. They went through so much drama and torment and bashing, yet they fought it all of. They lost most of their old fan base, but they kept on trudging forward. Making music, touring, and being who they were. This was their life's work. This was what they wanted to bring to people. This was who they were. This was Hawthorne Heights.

A few hours ago I came home to look on Absolute Punk to read the most tragic news I have in a while. Casey Calvert, the screaming drive of Hawthorne passed away today. This hit me like a ton of bricks. Not only was he one of the most adorable people ever, he was the fun and energy that helped give this band their sound. I thought he was an amazing person. To find out someone I looked up to has passed makes me stop and think it could happen to anyone. There is nothing that can stop this. It hurts so much but it also let's you see how much you were touched and affected by one person. I can only hope to be like that to others.

Last fall, when they headlined the Nintendo Fusion Tour, I went and enjoyed myself and knew all I wanted that night was to meet Casey. After the show he walked right past me with Eron. He stared at me and I knew I should go up and just ask for a picture. I didn't. And now, now that it's way too late, I'm kicking myself over it.

Maybe he was healthy and pain free, but now he's in an even better place. Heck, he's probably chillin' with Beatz up there having a good 'ol time. That's all we can hope for.

RIP CASEY CALVERT ~ 1981- 2007

i love missing school

Currently Listening : The Starting Line - Need to Love

It's days like this that I love for. I love missing school and staying home and getting things that need to be done out of the way. Laundry, Sketchbook work, letters, and lazy day stuff like that. Plus, I like having the house alone to myself and blasting shuffle. I probably screwed myself over in some classes missing today, but I really don't care.

Powerspace - I Met My Best Friend In Prague

Uhhhh. I think I'm getting a new job. Cause as much as I love Jamba and all my friends there...the pay/hours are't cutting it. A lot of things, family-wise have been going on. Stuff I don't even want to post here. It's just another thing we'll get through and...yeah. My grandma is coming for Christmas! I honestly can't wait cause that means I get to be spoiled for my 18th birthday. (Which also really freaks me out.)

The Used - Earthquake

I feel like I need to say or talk about something else but I don't know what. Whatever.

Facts:
Luis owes me.
Today is payday, and a good one.
I got a C in statistics.
Cartel is good live, I don't careeee what you have to say about ittttt.

liar

I honestly feel that this song describes how I feel...or want to feel about life. I don't like being lame and posting lyrics but whatever. As Amber says, "You don't control me."

This is goodbye
After months of situating
I can finally leave this sorry town behind
And I'm alright
When they ask for me
My friends can smile and tell the world
That I survived
As I'm about to leave
I've filled a million empty pages
Passed my word and do my best to sing
So what do I need
Something could become of those
Who think and talk and live like me
I don't want to die today
I want to live and love and write it down
I can live a life of dreams
And be greatful I'm around
This is goodbye
After months of careful planning
I can finally leave this dried up town behind
And I'm alright
Yeah, this used to be our city
This used to be our only light
I just want to walk away
I want to write but there's a consequence
That all my friends read everything I do and I say
I don't need a razorblade
All I need are sounds of ecstasy
And I won't die today
Yeah, I'll be living, loving, writing down
And I'll live a life of dreams
And be greatful I'm around

who posts 2 times a day?

Currently Listening : Sexy Is My Middle Name - Palm Trees

sarah posts 2 times a day. and you know why? because i am more unsure of what i want to/should/can do than ever now.

columbia vs. full sail / photojournalism vs music production

pro/con lists are not helping. i have no idea what to do. "do what makes you happy" "do what you are good at" i don't know. i have no idea whatsoever. i hate having to make such a huge decision.

april told me to take a year off. go to community collge, and get my pre-req's done and out of the way. yeah sure, that'd be cool i guess, but...community college? i don't know why, but the idea of going to fccj just gives me the chills. it's like...lowering my standards. no, i am not saying i'm better than people who attend community college, but i just never saw myself going that route...i just pictured myself going off to a bigger, well known school right after senior year. now though...i'm not too sure.

maybe going to fccj would be better for me. maybe having a year to decide what i want to do will help me out. i just don't know though. there's decisions to be made and it's all going and coming at me so fast. i don't have enough time. i don't have the money. i don't knwo what to do about anything and this makes me want to do absolutely nothing.

facts:
i don't care about capitalizing anymore
i miss october fall
i wish i didn't have to go to school anymore

Its a mess

Currently Listening : Blackey licking himself

Sometimes I am too confused to even realized I'm confused. I feel like a crazy person, not even knowing what to think. I can't wait to be 18...its what everyone looks forward to. But at the same time I'm way too freaked out to be anything close to excited. There are so many decisions to be made and deadlines to meet, and how is any one person supposed to decide and accomplish this so fast?

I don't know where I'm going or what I'm going to do. I need to decide soon, but I do have some time. Its kind of a contradiction in it of itself really, and when I think of it like that it makes me kind of laugh. If I've got nothing to worry about then why am I worrying? There's no answer for this.

I guess happiness is my first goal. I'm just scared that I don't really know what happy is for me yet.

Facts:
I love daylight savings time
My trackball sucks
Sleeping on the couch > floor > bed
I'm posting from my sk and it's kinda weird.

:)

Currently Listening : Fall Out Boy -The Take Over, The Break's Over

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Today you'd be....79! I honestly can't imagine being that old, no offense. I remember that on your 75th birthday Grandma took you some cake to the hospital. Sneaky little lady she was! If I could go back into time, I'd have gone with her that day, just to say I spent your last birthday with you. I regret not going to the hospital more to visit you. I know I only went twice in all those times and I will never not regret that. I should have toughed out being scared and just gone, but I didn't and I'm sorry.

So much has changed since that birthday, both good and bad as I'm sure you know. If you were still here, everything would be different. It's been almost 4 years...how crazy is that? I miss you so much. I had the best grandpa on the world and I didn't realize it until it was too late.

Happy Birthday again Papa...I love you.

:O

Currently Listening: The Used - Paralyzed

August? You're kidding me, right? AUGUST 26TH?!!? I am forever so so so sorry blogspot...I've missed you!

Dang....the one thing I honestly hate about not blogging for this long is that now I have to go back in my head and remember things. And the whole point of having a blog is so that I DON'T have to do this. Jesus. Well ok, big things only, here we go...

September 5th was The Used at HOB. Most incredible event ever. I love this band with my whole heart. There is nothing and no one that can change my feelings for them. I met Robert McCracken again. This man is the most amazing human being to me. I know for a fact that he enjoyed meeting me more than he did any other fan that day. I love him more that words will ever explain.

School school school, whatever. I'm doing fine for the first quarter I guess. I suck at Statistics in case this wasn't an obvious fact.

September 12th was The Secret Handshake. Fourth time this year seeing Luis & which ever drummer he has with him at the time. I love him/them. I enjoy our 20 minute conversations about stealing at Target, and Jamba Juice, and his merch. I don't want these to go away.

Didn't go to any other shows in September, and nothing else "memorable" really comes to mind, so yeah, I guess thats it.

October has started off lame. It hasn't stopped raining in about a week and I'm sick and tired of my feet being wet. School is a headache and a half, and I still suck at Statistics.

There has been so much drama that it's honestly ridiculous.

Half way though writing this my computer shutdown, and this was all saved as a draft. It's now October 27th, and I'm just gonna add some random junk on here, then start writing normal posts again...soon? Yes, very soon.

So, October was a REALLY good month to say the least.
6th - theAUDITION, Boys Like Girls, All Time Low. Totally pop-punk party.
19th - THE HIVES. I SAW THE HIVES AND YOU DIDN'T. They make me feel so elite and uh yeah, that's all I have to say about that. Pelle and Chris make me feel amazing.
20th - Saosin. I know they just have a lot of hype with them right now, but whatever, I love them
23rd & 26th - CIRCA SURVIVE Anthony Green is my new daddy. He picked my nose and made out with my mom, how awesome.

So yeah, that's basically it. I'm not even gonna try and strain my brain trying to find stuff to write about. I'll write something witty tomorrow or something, whatevaaa.

no no no no no no no no no

Currently Listening : The Click 5 - Flipside

This year will not not not be a repeat of last year. Never again will I deal with people who beat around the bush and frustrates me to no end. No.

I just want everything to work out.
I just want my wishes to come true.
I just really want a good senior year.

Facts:
Poor
Tired
Tired
School
Poor
Blah.

Situation

Currently Listening : Yellowcard - Back Home

I know and can fully state that I am obsessed with going to shows. I love way too many bands and they come way too often. The Secret Handshake, for example, is coming 2 more times before the year is up...that will total him coming here FIVE times. And yes, I will be in attendance for all of those. But should I go. Am I just going for the numbers and bragging rights? Do I honestly like seeing Luis live? Yes, of course I do! So we are settled on that.

But then there's other, newer bands that I have yet to see. Metro Station is coming with Valencia. I have seen Valencia, enjoy them live, and would enjoy seeing them again. Metro Station is new, and I want to check them out live as well. Will I have the chance to see them some other time, and save my money now when I need it? More than likely yes. But if I go, I can buy their cd, fall in love, and then always want to see them when they come, losing me more money. Such a vicious circle, I know.

So the question remains. Which shows do I skip now, and which do I go to? Most are under $20, which is both a pro and a con.
Pro: It's cheap, obviously.
Con: since it is cheap, I have more of an eager and willingness to spend the money on attending.

Let's say for instance I go to the Saosin show. It's $14, which for an avid show attendee, is a very fair price to see them at Fuel. But you have to look at it from this angle in my situation -- sure, it's only $14, but I also have to pay for Vik, making it $28 + tax, service fees, etc. Which really really really makes me less willing to purchase the tickets.

These are the shows for the next 2 months that have me all mind boggled:

Sept. 05 - The Used $27
Sept. 12 - Secret Handshake $8
Sept. 15 - Valencia $10
Oct. 06 - Boys Like Girls $14
Oct. 16 - The Academy Is... $20
Oct. 20 - Saosin $14
Oct. 24 - Silverstein $15
(bolded are the ones I have tickets to)

I'm basically set on The Secret Hanshake and Saosin. It's the other 3 that I really don't know if I should go to. God knows if Silverstein will ever come back to Fuel. Boys Like Girls have some twice before, so why not. I'm just honestly fed up with them. Their music, sure, it's great, but it isn't gonna last. And them, as people, have become the biggest bunch of losers ever. It's so sad to se how short of a time they lasted. Now the Valencia show. As I said, they aren't one of my "favourites," but a show is a show, and I would like to go. I guess that'll be on of those "at the door" things that day, depending on how much money I have at the time.

I don't know why I wasted my time typing all this becasue I know it's still gonna be in my mind 24/7, and I'm still broke, so whatever. I wish we could win the lotterey or something.

Facts:
I AM WAY TOO BROKE.
I GO TO WAY TOO MANY SHOWS.

RIP Summer 2007

Currently Listening : Quietdrive - Both Ways

Summer will be over in 6 days. On Monday I'll be a senior. Times flies and it scares the poo out of me.

I guess a lot has been going on. I think I have a new liking interest. (I don't even know what I just made up with those words, but yeah whatever.). And oh yeah, I SAW MY BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. Last Friday, August 10th, we drove down 2 hours to Orlando just to see Ymijan for 90 minutes. It was amazing. I love my best friend like no one knows. That took 631 days.

On the 9th, TBS decided to play a show here, and THANK GOD, because it was by far the best show I have ever ever ever been to. I love Cove Reber, Matt Rubano, and Adam Lazzara so much. Highlight : Adam covering The Killers, acoustic. So sweet brah.

I really don't know what else. I am broke broke broke and I guess I hope school goes good and blah blah blah. Whatever I'm basically happy with life atm.

Facts :
Still not enough hours at Jamba. $111 check today, pathetic.
I like Zac Eforn in 2004, and you most certainly did not.
I need to go see Bourne Ultimatum.
Matt Rubano has a sexy bod.

Don't

go into people's houses as a guest (even if you are their best friend) and act like you own the place. this is just one of my many pet peeves.

Currently Listening : A Walk To Remember Soundtrack

It'll be you and me up in the trees.

Currently listening : Marty Casey & The Lovehammers - Trees.

You know what's unfortunate? When you know someone should make it. Marty Casey should be more than just a name in the Chicago Alternative scene. But the big time won't give him a chance I guess. That's ok Marty. I'll still be a fan. INXS should have taken you instead of JD, and yeah, I'm still complaining about this 2 years later.

Onto real life...

Went to Full Sail and fell in complete love. I love how everything there is centered are the passion for music and making music and anything and everything to do with that. I'm just really scared though. Scared that I'll go there, and major in something, but that it wont be what makes me happy. I don't want to do sound for movies. I know, I don't have to take a job I don't want to, but then I get that feeling. My least favorite emotions creeps into me and lingers for a bit, and then it doesn't matter what I know I do and do not want to do. No. That GUILT just eats me away and I'll do whatever it is someone is telling me too. It's the most awful trait I think I have; letting the guilt take over. But I know that Full Sail is the best school for anything in the vicinity of what I want to do. I'm pretty darn sure of that much.

I just hope everything I hope to do I can do. I will forever be mad with myself if I don't. I do not want to be the cliche of girls in the music business. I do not want to be "one of those" girls. I just want to be the good girl who worked hard and achieved her goals and people honestly and truely like her. I want to be the real deal.

Did I ever mention how nerdy I am? Well, it's true. I went to the midnight release of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows." I have been reading about Harry Potter before you knew who he was. Do not even try and think you can surpass me. I was in Ms. White's 4th grade class and she read us some of the first book, then I begged my mom to buy me the book. That was in 1999 smartypants, when the first book was published. By the end of 5th grade the 4th book had come out and by then everyone was throwing a riot about it. Now that I think about it...I feel the same about Harry Potter as I do any band. I found it first, and now a bunch of 13 year olds are taking it. Whatever. So now, on July 20th at 11pm, there I am sitting and waiting for the last book. It was a freaking amazing feeling to say the least. By 12:28 I had my book, (and poster!) and I'm happy as ever. These books will forever be apart of me. Forever.

Warped was on the 19th. Tia and I had VIP passes from Warped Panel, which in simple terms means we got to see a mainstage band on stage. We saw Chiodos, and I must saw it was completely amazing to see everything from the band's point of view. I can't wait to be able to do it again. That, and the 105 degree heat, and lack of liquids, and best friends, and great bands, and dirt, and more dirt, and no shade, and Red Jumpsuit hometown shows, made it my favorite Warped to date. Sure, I've only been to 3 total, but this one was just the best.

I almost hate saying this, but I want to go back to school. I just feel like I have some good in store for me :)

Facts for now:
Yelisa got engaged to Frank, finally!
I am not getting enough hours at Jamba.
Ymijan comes soon!
I am finally seeing Taking Back Sunday, jesus h christ.
The Format and The Honorary Title put on a GREAT show. Mhm.

family

I'm not big on the whole close family thing. That sounds wrong, I know. Not that I don't think families should not be close, but my family has never been one to be like that. We all live far apart, and we're not huge in any way, shape or form, so I guess it's just normal that I feel like this.

My immediate family is as small as it gets. It's me, vik, and my mom. Yeah, I have an older brother, but my family has basically come to disown him, and that's a very personal topic that I'm never getting into unless you are my extremely close best friend. Even then, I'll think twice about it, so whatever. There's just us 3, and we are together all the time. I know that when kids see Vik and I at shows with our mom they think "Hahaha, what a bunch of lames going to shows with their parents." It's a shame they'll never know how much I love going to shows with my mom. Honestly and truly. If you ever want to hear a good story, ask me about my mom and shows she's been to, they're all great. Now back to my point...

My grandma only had 3 kids. My aunt, my mom, and my uncle. From my aunt, I have 1 cousin, my favorite, Yelisa. She was the first in our family to graduate college. She probably makes the most money too. My goal is to beat her, no lie. My aunt is separated from her husband, so there's that. From my uncle (who is married still) I have 3 cousins, Christina, Michael, and Ryan. Ryan is the only non-loser in this family, but who knows anymore. So that's it, I have 4 cousins, 2 aunts, 1 uncle, and 1 grandma. When I was in the 8th grade, my Grandpa died. He was the rock in our family, and I miss him like nobody's business. Because of his passing everything changed, and I know for a fact that if he was still alive, I'd still be in Chicago. Everything happens for a reason though, right? I hope so. My grandpa wasn't even my real grandpa, (my grandma divorced her first husband, who is my mom's father, and from what I know, he was murdered) but he treated me like I was a princess. I'm in his will for his house, and I'm not gonna get it, but the idea that I meant that much to him is mind-blowingly amazing. I love his oldest son like he was my real uncle too. An amazing man with an amazing heart. That's about it for my mom's side of the family.

Now I know, what about my dad, right? Well my parents divorced when I was 6, I believe. I saw my dad maybe once after that, and I haven't seen or spoken to him since. I don't "hate" him, but I definitely do not like him, at all. I guess it would've been nice to have 2 parents, but I know that if my dad were still in the picture my life would be nothing that it is. Shows, being the biggest part of what I am, would not be permitted, and that's a fact. I'm glad I only have my mom. To me, it's just easier like that, and it's basically all I've known. I have to say that I am very grateful for the monthly check I get from my father, because without that I'd have missed a lot of shows. So for that dad, thanks. I don't know many people from his family. I'm sure I have a bunch of cousins and stuff, but I really don't think I'd like them all that much so oh well. Dalia, a girl I met a show and went to school with is actually my cousin, and she's from his side, so her and her aunt, who is my godmother are the only people I know from "that side" of the family. The communication that goes on between any of us is rare, and like I said, I really don't care.

So what brought all of this to my attention was the passing of my mom's cousin, Norma. (My grandma's sister, so my great aunt's daughter. She had 10 kids, the old lady, and so far 4 have died. The saddest thing to have to do is bury your child. No one should have to bear the burden.) I always thought she was a crazy lady....she was loud, obnoxious, a health freak, a hippie, and everything else. I never realized until now though, how much of a family oriented person she was. Sure, we only saw her every once in a great while, but all she did was make us laugh when we were all together. She had the biggest heart, and cared for all of us even though she lived forever and a half away in St. Louis. she sacrificed for all of us, even when we didn't realize it. If she hadn't given her brother her car, I'd have never seen my mom's cousins whom I love. Thank you for that. I still remember family bbq's when I was younger and her dancing around like the crazy she was, and just laughing at her. She will be missed, but now she is in peace. Cancer being the murderer it is took her. She won the first fight, but in the end, lost the battle. She was a tough one, and it's a shame that such a disease took her.

Never take what kind of family you have, big, huge, normal, small, weird, average, loud, quite, fun, rich, poor, or anything else, for granted. As much as you hate them, they are a part of you. You are a part of them. Look in the mirror, and you can see part of them in you. Look at your personality, your habits, everything you do in your daily life...something about all of that matches with something someone in your family does. With all the hatred or dislike you might have towards someone, you love them. You know they are your base, and without them, there is a part of you missing. I was never close to Norma. I cried yesterday at the thought of her being forever gone. It's crazy how people just leave our lives as fast as they do. Don't take your family for granted. Remember the moments you spend together....they are what you'll have forever.

I love my family.


Wanna make a change right here right now;
Wanna live a life like you somehow;
Wanna make your sacrifice worthwhile;
Everything is gonna be alright.

RIP NORMA COLON
01/30/51 - 05/30/07

why do we have pointless holidays?

There is no point to celebrate the 4th of July. Cool, we got independence? That's super. But there is no point, 200 and whatever years later to be blowing up fireworks for it. Whatever, there's no point in this.

I'm working and making no money. This sucks so hard. Everything is horrible right now. We are living the poorest we ever have. I hate being like this. "Sarah, use your paycheck to help." Screw that man, I'm selfish. I need my shows to keep me happy. They are the only thing I have left. I have friends, and stuff like that, but my shows let me cover up everything. I get to be happy and myself there. I get to forget about everything for a few hours in that day and just take in what a show brings me. It's the best feeling in the world, and I love it.

I want to be happy beyond belief again. This is the only feeling I can experience at shows right now. I want a life full of this feeling.

17.5

It's my half birthday. For some reason this half birthday iss differnet than the rest. (Yeah, I celebrate them, shuttup.) So anyways, in 6 months I'll be 18, and that just freaks me out. Not that much is going to change, but it's the fact tht I'll be 18...the legal age. This is basically pointless, but I don't care. I think since last summer I've changed a lot. I've moved, made a lot of best friends, and haven't seen a lot of friends in a while. I got a job, have met eveyone I consider an "idol" to me, and have finished 3/4ths of high school. "Sarah, get to the point." I don't think there is one, except stating the fact that I've changed, and I really really like it.

Proof:


(winter 05')





















(summer 06')




















(summer 07')





















I don't wear make up, hair clips, or basically anything I used to. I could care less about all that stuff. We all grow up I guess right? Since moving, I've seen all my friends change via pictures on Facebook and Myspace. It's so weird to not see these kids I spent almost 2 years with, 18 months later, half of us don't talk to each other, and the rest of them have changed so much I could care less about talking to them.

I guess this is the part where I name drop. I'm not trying to start drama, I'm just stating what I know to be true. I know who still writes me letters, who calls me (only dan, and ilh for that), who IM's me, and basically who my "real" friends are. I had a lot of friends at Lincoln Park. I'm down to a handful, but I like them best, so who cares really? In Florida it sucked making friends. I hated everyone, so I became best friends with online friends. I never thought I'd have best friends here, but I do now.

Sup name drops:
Chicago: Ymijan, Nicole & Meghan. Dan, Sara, Keeley, Cecilia, Katie, Gigi, Morry.
Online: Toni. Cait.
Florida. Amber, Tia. Kristen, Jello.

I love my friends. I love my life. Period.

I MISS YOU BLOGSPOT.

I made this for the memories. I haven't written in any blogs for a while. I think about it, then I'm just too lazy to do it. I also have to redo my Flickr, for kicks. I really don't care any more. Photo passes? I'll never get them. I will most likely be going to Full Sail now. I guess it's a cliche in the music industry, but whatever, I like it.

Uhm. Oh. Have you ever seen Rise Against live? No? Well then your life fails. Honestly, everyone should see them live. Even if you don't like them, do it for your health, it's life changing. Tim McIlrath was the last person I wanted to meet. I met him :)

Work is going ok. Summer is cool. I still haven't read OR done geometry. This blog's mood has changed. I am indifferent.

FALSE IDOLS FALL.

Sometimes I just don't even know.

Dead serious now. I need a goal for the summer. I don't know why or what I just want something to aim for.

Note. I was brought to tears today. Fall Out Boy. Those 4 make me so incredibly happy. Screw the haters. You'll never understand what this band does for me. 5 days til I see my boys again. :)

OHHHHHHHHHHH

Quinn(sidence)

ONE MONTH?
Way to go, Sarah Elizabeth. So all I didn't post about was the best 2 shows of my life (My Chem on 4/22 and BW on 4/23), Underoath, Hellogoodbye, the best local show in Jax, by the best local band, Harloe, getting my first job (JAMBA JUICE!) and about 2353453425 other things. I hate this.

Well, there's no point in living in the past. Yelisa went home today, school is out, I'm still poor, Projekt Rev ain't going down, etcetcetc, blah blah, I'm happy and life is good even with all my complaints.

Dear me, don't make yourself into a fool. PLzplzplzplz no.

I've waited patiently.

This Providence. Goooood God, I LOVE THEM. We (Tia, Vik, and....Jordan) took then Vitamin Water and Cliff Bars. "David, you're a weakling" "I know, I'm just a baby!" Oh gosh. Then afterwards, asking them all if they liked it, and being called amazing over and over again...simply the best ego booster ever. do something good for the people you love. it works out amazingly.

i made a new myspace because? because. ok. christ.

this weekend, dream will be come true. mcr and butch. i want to cry at how much fun i will have. amber is coming with us. we will be known. bobrah and gerber, 4lyfe.

sorry for the bad grammer. and puntuation and capitalization, and all that. but really who cares, it's just me here alone. i'll show you this one day, after the fact. or maybe, you'll read it years later. and all i want you to say is "wow." let's pinky promise that one, ok?

gross

I do not want to walk with you on the beach Fred. Where's Jack?

Missed the point?

Tell me if I should keep holding on any more.
Is this worth it? My stomach is in knots over you. Am I over you?
I just want it to be "us" again.



Maybe we could just move on.

Can you take it?

Just so you know. I type and say a lot of things in the moment. I need to stop this. I'm not thinking, just slipping up. I'm rolling faster on my words than if I was on a slip and slide. When you hit a rock, I guess you can forget about it, right? After the initial pain, there's not much left. Words cut like daggers. Spoken or typed. I take back what I said about 2 people in my last 2 posts. I don't want to mess things up. But sometimes I need a little help. A tap on the hand. Maybe even a kick in the baby maker. Just let me know you still care too ok? Don't leave me knocked over, or in pain after that misplaced rock. I'm trying to pick them up for you too.



Cause I can't take it.

Everything goes according to plan.

NEVER.

Spring Break was good. I met Toni, and she's just a cutie. Jack's Mannequin and Sugarcult were good. And before I get into it, I wish every major label band was just like Sugarcult. One of the best group of guys out there, and they get little to no credit for it. Why? Who knows. I need to listen to them more though, that's for sure.

School. Classes have been changed, and well, to say the least I've made new friends. I don't have any classes with the kids I love, and thats counting lunch. Well, at least we're getting down to about 35 days left, right? That is all that matters.

YOU ARE ANNOYING. POINT BLANK.

Honda Civic Tour was postponed. Jello jinxed it btw. I don't know. I was sad...but now I don't really care. I mean there's nothing I can do about it, right? So whatever. "Personal Issues" my arse.

Toonss of CIWWAF drama. Jack left. Fred is temp back. People are throwing riots. I still love them. I have no reason to be mad at Shaant, or anyone for that matter. If it's for the better than so be it.

I'm trying to avoid the fact thats this isn't really a real post. ( I don't even know what that means. ) I'm trying to make this sound like just cause I haven't updated in a week it's ok. To others, sure that's fine. To me, not so much. It keeps my mind clear. I am too scared of forgetting everything so it must written down. Of course, this writing is via the lovely internet, because I trust it? Not really. But now I'm just trying to convince myself of something that I still have no idea what I'm rambling about.

I want things to get better ok? Stop being annoying and just face the truth.

reason to celebrate

my head is pounding. i have the worst stuffed nose ever. this is spring break and i'm sick, wtf.

htl was last night, soo good. the secret handshake is genious. "this song is about my herpes!" JESUS. All Time Low was lolarious.

This post seems so odd. I don't know. I need to see my show crew. It's wierd how good friends we are ever with the age difference. But I love them. Best friends cause of concerts and everything else doesn't even matter.

I'm meeting my oldest...or near close to oldest, Myspace friend tomorrow. Toni! Really, anyone who says Myspace is a trend, stupid, pointless, etc....I can prove them wrong. This girl and I are going on 2 years knowing each other, and she knows basically everything about me. I trust her as much as I do my "real life" friends. Without Myspace I would not know her and I am forever thankful to Tom to helping me meet my best friend. Toni knows everything about all my issues. And she gives the best advice. When you find a friend like this, you know you are blessed.

Best friend - New sn? Thanks for telling me? I'm sending you a gift with mixed feelings. I love you with all my heart, but you aren't trying anymore. Please let me know you still care.

Sidewalks don't exist in Florida.

Would that change things? A simple piece of concrete. To help navigate people down a path. Do we need that, to help navigate us onto the right path? It could make things work out a little clearer. I think we need a push in the right direction. Maybe. Maybe I just need to give up. Giving up is for losers. I guess I'm a loser.

Spring Break is just peachy btw. Not doing anything is great, and I really don't feel like going back to school though. It's not the work, it's just the atmosphere. Some people really do enjoy school, but I really think it's not for me. Just one more year though, just one more year.

I promise you will like me more if you just would stop acting like you don't like me.

Every Second Counts

I do not like you being friends with my friends. You guys are never supposed to meet or even know each other. I hate that you have brought them into our friendship and inside jokes. It's not supposed to be like this. I hate it. But I'm just gonna play along with it all of course. What else can I do? "Hey, you guys can't be friends, stop talking to each other" No, that's stupid and impossible.

It's 5am

You're probably way past sleeping. I don't know why I waste so much time on this. Can you give it back please? I'd highly appreciate it.

I hate the word "assuming"

i swear i forgot my password.

well, for all that it matters, i just couldn't get on because:
1. got my sidekick, and the best doesn't let me log on to this site.
2. i am a procrastinator, and uhm duh, that's nothing new.
3. i can't think of a good enough 3rd reason.

so basically this sums things up:
- got my lovely sk3 thanks to kristen on the 7th.
- TOC07 was canceled for Bert's voice and other made up reasons on the 8th. Cried, got mad, etc. Decided to go to the Orly show.
- Was kidnapped by Kristen and Jello on the 9th. Walmart at 2am is priceless.
- Went to Orly on the 10th. Tinker Field is made for Warped and nothing else. Show was incredible. Jared and Buddy climbed the risers, RJ is a crazy man, and The Used is my life. Nothing compares to the feeling of finally seeing them. Waiting til 3am for McCracken will always be the best decision I have ever made, and my mom is crazy. Yepp, that's basically it.
- Nothing else?

My wishes at 11:11 are still the same btw, I lied.

On a brighter note, I am now on Spring Break 2007. It's exciting I guess. The only thing I actually care about is sleeping in and chilling to the max. Maybe next year I'll have some real spring brake plans? Probably not. I'm meeting Toni hopefully though.

I don't think I have much else. I wish I could be more interesting.

I have no words for this.

So you get up, get ready, and are all set to go and get in line for you favorite band's first headining show in a good 2 years. This band is your life. They are the reason you are even in the scene. You've loved them for 4 year, and now you are fianally going to witness their glory. As you are about tp walk out the door, you get it, the im that will change the day's destiny. The show is cancelled. You cry your eyes out, you are furious. You don't even know what to do. Then 2 of the openers put on a sideshow...but wait, they bail out of that too. You and your bestfriends basically could sit in front of a moving truck and not care. But you gotta have some hope right? Some smidgen of fate? We'll see how that goes. Dear saturday, please don't let me down.
Oh, and how could it get worse? Toby isn't gonna be in spiderman four!??! Wtf, the world is ending.

she just needs to feel needed.

so what if i said i needed new friends yesterday. people's moods can change in a heartbeat. kristen is gonna sign for my phone, and now i'm in a good mood. i swear to god, i'd die without friends. they are the best thing next to everything. never do stuff you'll regret to your friends, really.

am i really that shallow? apparently my mood changes faster than i do for gym. if you ever read this, it isn't about you. but in the twisted way that fate works, it is. i can't believe you sometimes. i really don't hate you. honestly. i'm selfish, sue me. time to check my horoscope.

i'm sure my veggie burger is done. my koolaid is getting warm too.

This is me taking a stab at it...

Blog number one million and a half. I'm tired of starting these things like a new trend. Every time I'm annoyed I say it, "Okay, from here on out, I'm changing. I'm gonna write like no one's business and prove my point. I'm gonna change." Yeah, well my raging teen angst lasts anywhere from a day to a week, and after that, what happens? My posts get farther and farther apart, until I don't even remember my login name. So, why start again now? I honestly have no clue.

I just want to write. And for now, I don't want a soul to read (Except for YOU)

When I have best friends letting me down, and not even knowing what's really going on in my life, there's no telling who honestly cares anymore. This is just me ranting on and on about what I feel I need to rant on about. I'm not here to start anything. I'm not here to sound so ~cool~. I'm not here to make up metaphores, and sweet lines that will make you feel like I'm speaking another language. All I need is this place to type out how I feel, cause I'm too lazy to write it in a real journal, and I actually want to remember things in years to come. How often will I update this beast? Who knows. I'm hoping for the good though. And I'll really try...if I do anything, I'll try.