I'm not big on the whole close family thing. That sounds wrong, I know. Not that I don't think families should not be close, but my family has never been one to be like that. We all live far apart, and we're not huge in any way, shape or form, so I guess it's just normal that I feel like this.
My immediate family is as small as it gets. It's me, vik, and my mom. Yeah, I have an older brother, but my family has basically come to disown him, and that's a very personal topic that I'm never getting into unless you are my extremely close best friend. Even then, I'll think twice about it, so whatever. There's just us 3, and we are together all the time. I know that when kids see Vik and I at shows with our mom they think "Hahaha, what a bunch of lames going to shows with their parents." It's a shame they'll never know how much I love going to shows with my mom. Honestly and truly. If you ever want to hear a good story, ask me about my mom and shows she's been to, they're all great. Now back to my point...
My grandma only had 3 kids. My aunt, my mom, and my uncle. From my aunt, I have 1 cousin, my favorite, Yelisa. She was the first in our family to graduate college. She probably makes the most money too. My goal is to beat her, no lie. My aunt is separated from her husband, so there's that. From my uncle (who is married still) I have 3 cousins, Christina, Michael, and Ryan. Ryan is the only non-loser in this family, but who knows anymore. So that's it, I have 4 cousins, 2 aunts, 1 uncle, and 1 grandma. When I was in the 8th grade, my Grandpa died. He was the rock in our family, and I miss him like nobody's business. Because of his passing everything changed, and I know for a fact that if he was still alive, I'd still be in Chicago. Everything happens for a reason though, right? I hope so. My grandpa wasn't even my real grandpa, (my grandma divorced her first husband, who is my mom's father, and from what I know, he was murdered) but he treated me like I was a princess. I'm in his will for his house, and I'm not gonna get it, but the idea that I meant that much to him is mind-blowingly amazing. I love his oldest son like he was my real uncle too. An amazing man with an amazing heart. That's about it for my mom's side of the family.
Now I know, what about my dad, right? Well my parents divorced when I was 6, I believe. I saw my dad maybe once after that, and I haven't seen or spoken to him since. I don't "hate" him, but I definitely do not like him, at all. I guess it would've been nice to have 2 parents, but I know that if my dad were still in the picture my life would be nothing that it is. Shows, being the biggest part of what I am, would not be permitted, and that's a fact. I'm glad I only have my mom. To me, it's just easier like that, and it's basically all I've known. I have to say that I am very grateful for the monthly check I get from my father, because without that I'd have missed a lot of shows. So for that dad, thanks. I don't know many people from his family. I'm sure I have a bunch of cousins and stuff, but I really don't think I'd like them all that much so oh well. Dalia, a girl I met a show and went to school with is actually my cousin, and she's from his side, so her and her aunt, who is my godmother are the only people I know from "that side" of the family. The communication that goes on between any of us is rare, and like I said, I really don't care.
So what brought all of this to my attention was the passing of my mom's cousin, Norma. (My grandma's sister, so my great aunt's daughter. She had 10 kids, the old lady, and so far 4 have died. The saddest thing to have to do is bury your child. No one should have to bear the burden.) I always thought she was a crazy lady....she was loud, obnoxious, a health freak, a hippie, and everything else. I never realized until now though, how much of a family oriented person she was. Sure, we only saw her every once in a great while, but all she did was make us laugh when we were all together. She had the biggest heart, and cared for all of us even though she lived forever and a half away in St. Louis. she sacrificed for all of us, even when we didn't realize it. If she hadn't given her brother her car, I'd have never seen my mom's cousins whom I love. Thank you for that. I still remember family bbq's when I was younger and her dancing around like the crazy she was, and just laughing at her. She will be missed, but now she is in peace. Cancer being the murderer it is took her. She won the first fight, but in the end, lost the battle. She was a tough one, and it's a shame that such a disease took her.
Never take what kind of family you have, big, huge, normal, small, weird, average, loud, quite, fun, rich, poor, or anything else, for granted. As much as you hate them, they are a part of you. You are a part of them. Look in the mirror, and you can see part of them in you. Look at your personality, your habits, everything you do in your daily life...something about all of that matches with something someone in your family does. With all the hatred or dislike you might have towards someone, you love them. You know they are your base, and without them, there is a part of you missing. I was never close to Norma. I cried yesterday at the thought of her being forever gone. It's crazy how people just leave our lives as fast as they do. Don't take your family for granted. Remember the moments you spend together....they are what you'll have forever.
I love my family.
Wanna make a change right here right now;
Wanna live a life like you somehow;
Wanna make your sacrifice worthwhile;
Everything is gonna be alright.
RIP NORMA COLON
01/30/51 - 05/30/07
