Currently Listening : The Almost - Drive There Now
Basically, I hate school. I know, it's totally shocking news...not. I honestly believe some people were just not fit to be in school so long. It's just really not FOR everyone. High school is honestly a waste of 4 years because I have yet to lean something I didn't know before 8th grade.
I know I only have 1 semester left of high school...6 more months. But when you are looking at it from my perspective, it seems like an infinity. I have all my credits to graduate minus .5 math, .5 english, and .5 science. All of my classes are electives this year. Which in turn bores me to no other while I'm actually at school and in class. I'm taking this math class online because I screwed up my sophomore year by moving and whatever, but I got kicked out of it. I don't know what's going on with all that right now, and to be honest don't care much. I hate math and I never do my work, and I'm hardly there anyways, so I'm always doing late work which doesn't help me much either.
Whenever I find a reason to miss school I take it. I just hate going. I hate waking up at 5:30 am, I hate walking outside in the humidity to get to all my classes, I hate having to deal with a bunch of loser kids all day long, and I hate doing school work that is pointless and has nothing to do with what I want to do in life. The only thing I really enjoy about this year is Art class, and I wish I could take it everyday, all day.
I didn't go to school today. Tomorrow is a B day (screw A-B scheduling), and I definitely do not have my books for even attempting homework I have due tomorrow. I'm doing OK this year. Nothing too impressive, but just enough to get me by. I'm dreading progress reports though, I might have screwed myself over.
I'm tired of talking about this, soooo...yeah. I saw The Medic Droid last night. I don't know...I kind of took them as a joke when I first heard Chris Donathon on Myspace earlier this year. They were pretty good though, I mean they are just starting out with these live shows, so they need some practice and all that jazz, then they could be pretty epic. Karate High School stole the show though. It's awesome to see someone you've known about for almost 4 years. They should be more known though, they have the talent and charm.
I doubt I have anything else to write about. I'm just really bored. Bai.
FACTS:
BROKE!
I spent Thanksgiving weekend at Amber's.
WETPENCIL is coming.
BROKE!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
you shine so bright.
Currently Listening : Hawthorne Heights - Speeding Up The Octaves
In 9th grade I was pretty lost when it came to music. I liked all of maybe 20 bands; and I didn't just like them, I loved them. The favorites then are the favorites now. I learned about bands the old fashioned way...word of mouth. A kid I was very fond of told me about one specific band once. I looked them up, enjoyed them, and they rapidly became one of those favorites. I saw them quiet a few times, bought their cd's, dvd's, merch, etc. I really did love them
By the time my 10th grade year was half way over, they'd gotten quite a bit of attention and blew up a little. They were still the same guys from the the beginning and I still enjoyed them very much. Then, with the release of their sophomore disc...things changed. They were not the same guys on the outside, but I knew they were on the inside. They weren't the goofy, down for anything guys they had been just a year before. Something was wrong.
The summer 0f 2006 saw the decline of my interest for this band. Solely, for how much they let their label influence them. I hated how they were being treated and how I knew they hated it as well yet could not do a thing about any of it. By Fall of that same year they were touring again, and I would be in attendance accordingly. I had to hide that I still enjoyed the old band I once knew. They changed the type of music I had listened to. That post-punk pop type of sound. Heavier guitars and screaming and just a different sound than that of all the pop-punk bands I had been listening to before them. Liking them was not something accepted in the scene. They were "sellouts" in the public eye. But to the old fans, they were so much more than what everyone else saw and knew. We knew they were the same band from 2004. They had never changed, they had just let the suits control them. That Fall, things changed.
Finally, they broke away from all of that. They went back to their T-Shirts and jeans, and left the outfits and suits. They made me so proud. They went through so much drama and torment and bashing, yet they fought it all of. They lost most of their old fan base, but they kept on trudging forward. Making music, touring, and being who they were. This was their life's work. This was what they wanted to bring to people. This was who they were. This was Hawthorne Heights.
A few hours ago I came home to look on Absolute Punk to read the most tragic news I have in a while. Casey Calvert, the screaming drive of Hawthorne passed away today. This hit me like a ton of bricks. Not only was he one of the most adorable people ever, he was the fun and energy that helped give this band their sound. I thought he was an amazing person. To find out someone I looked up to has passed makes me stop and think it could happen to anyone. There is nothing that can stop this. It hurts so much but it also let's you see how much you were touched and affected by one person. I can only hope to be like that to others.
Last fall, when they headlined the Nintendo Fusion Tour, I went and enjoyed myself and knew all I wanted that night was to meet Casey. After the show he walked right past me with Eron. He stared at me and I knew I should go up and just ask for a picture. I didn't. And now, now that it's way too late, I'm kicking myself over it.
Maybe he was healthy and pain free, but now he's in an even better place. Heck, he's probably chillin' with Beatz up there having a good 'ol time. That's all we can hope for.
RIP CASEY CALVERT ~ 1981- 2007
In 9th grade I was pretty lost when it came to music. I liked all of maybe 20 bands; and I didn't just like them, I loved them. The favorites then are the favorites now. I learned about bands the old fashioned way...word of mouth. A kid I was very fond of told me about one specific band once. I looked them up, enjoyed them, and they rapidly became one of those favorites. I saw them quiet a few times, bought their cd's, dvd's, merch, etc. I really did love them
By the time my 10th grade year was half way over, they'd gotten quite a bit of attention and blew up a little. They were still the same guys from the the beginning and I still enjoyed them very much. Then, with the release of their sophomore disc...things changed. They were not the same guys on the outside, but I knew they were on the inside. They weren't the goofy, down for anything guys they had been just a year before. Something was wrong.
The summer 0f 2006 saw the decline of my interest for this band. Solely, for how much they let their label influence them. I hated how they were being treated and how I knew they hated it as well yet could not do a thing about any of it. By Fall of that same year they were touring again, and I would be in attendance accordingly. I had to hide that I still enjoyed the old band I once knew. They changed the type of music I had listened to. That post-punk pop type of sound. Heavier guitars and screaming and just a different sound than that of all the pop-punk bands I had been listening to before them. Liking them was not something accepted in the scene. They were "sellouts" in the public eye. But to the old fans, they were so much more than what everyone else saw and knew. We knew they were the same band from 2004. They had never changed, they had just let the suits control them. That Fall, things changed.
Finally, they broke away from all of that. They went back to their T-Shirts and jeans, and left the outfits and suits. They made me so proud. They went through so much drama and torment and bashing, yet they fought it all of. They lost most of their old fan base, but they kept on trudging forward. Making music, touring, and being who they were. This was their life's work. This was what they wanted to bring to people. This was who they were. This was Hawthorne Heights.
A few hours ago I came home to look on Absolute Punk to read the most tragic news I have in a while. Casey Calvert, the screaming drive of Hawthorne passed away today. This hit me like a ton of bricks. Not only was he one of the most adorable people ever, he was the fun and energy that helped give this band their sound. I thought he was an amazing person. To find out someone I looked up to has passed makes me stop and think it could happen to anyone. There is nothing that can stop this. It hurts so much but it also let's you see how much you were touched and affected by one person. I can only hope to be like that to others.
Last fall, when they headlined the Nintendo Fusion Tour, I went and enjoyed myself and knew all I wanted that night was to meet Casey. After the show he walked right past me with Eron. He stared at me and I knew I should go up and just ask for a picture. I didn't. And now, now that it's way too late, I'm kicking myself over it.
Maybe he was healthy and pain free, but now he's in an even better place. Heck, he's probably chillin' with Beatz up there having a good 'ol time. That's all we can hope for.
RIP CASEY CALVERT ~ 1981- 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
i love missing school
Currently Listening : The Starting Line - Need to Love
It's days like this that I love for. I love missing school and staying home and getting things that need to be done out of the way. Laundry, Sketchbook work, letters, and lazy day stuff like that. Plus, I like having the house alone to myself and blasting shuffle. I probably screwed myself over in some classes missing today, but I really don't care.
Powerspace - I Met My Best Friend In Prague
Uhhhh. I think I'm getting a new job. Cause as much as I love Jamba and all my friends there...the pay/hours are't cutting it. A lot of things, family-wise have been going on. Stuff I don't even want to post here. It's just another thing we'll get through and...yeah. My grandma is coming for Christmas! I honestly can't wait cause that means I get to be spoiled for my 18th birthday. (Which also really freaks me out.)
The Used - Earthquake
I feel like I need to say or talk about something else but I don't know what. Whatever.
Facts:
Luis owes me.
Today is payday, and a good one.
I got a C in statistics.
Cartel is good live, I don't careeee what you have to say about ittttt.
It's days like this that I love for. I love missing school and staying home and getting things that need to be done out of the way. Laundry, Sketchbook work, letters, and lazy day stuff like that. Plus, I like having the house alone to myself and blasting shuffle. I probably screwed myself over in some classes missing today, but I really don't care.
Powerspace - I Met My Best Friend In Prague
Uhhhh. I think I'm getting a new job. Cause as much as I love Jamba and all my friends there...the pay/hours are't cutting it. A lot of things, family-wise have been going on. Stuff I don't even want to post here. It's just another thing we'll get through and...yeah. My grandma is coming for Christmas! I honestly can't wait cause that means I get to be spoiled for my 18th birthday. (Which also really freaks me out.)
The Used - Earthquake
I feel like I need to say or talk about something else but I don't know what. Whatever.
Facts:
Luis owes me.
Today is payday, and a good one.
I got a C in statistics.
Cartel is good live, I don't careeee what you have to say about ittttt.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
liar
I honestly feel that this song describes how I feel...or want to feel about life. I don't like being lame and posting lyrics but whatever. As Amber says, "You don't control me."
This is goodbye
After months of situating
I can finally leave this sorry town behind
And I'm alright
When they ask for me
My friends can smile and tell the world
That I survived
As I'm about to leave
I've filled a million empty pages
Passed my word and do my best to sing
So what do I need
Something could become of those
Who think and talk and live like me
I don't want to die today
I want to live and love and write it down
I can live a life of dreams
And be greatful I'm around
This is goodbye
After months of careful planning
I can finally leave this dried up town behind
And I'm alright
Yeah, this used to be our city
This used to be our only light
I just want to walk away
I want to write but there's a consequence
That all my friends read everything I do and I say
I don't need a razorblade
All I need are sounds of ecstasy
And I won't die today
Yeah, I'll be living, loving, writing down
And I'll live a life of dreams
And be greatful I'm around
This is goodbye
After months of situating
I can finally leave this sorry town behind
And I'm alright
When they ask for me
My friends can smile and tell the world
That I survived
As I'm about to leave
I've filled a million empty pages
Passed my word and do my best to sing
So what do I need
Something could become of those
Who think and talk and live like me
I don't want to die today
I want to live and love and write it down
I can live a life of dreams
And be greatful I'm around
This is goodbye
After months of careful planning
I can finally leave this dried up town behind
And I'm alright
Yeah, this used to be our city
This used to be our only light
I just want to walk away
I want to write but there's a consequence
That all my friends read everything I do and I say
I don't need a razorblade
All I need are sounds of ecstasy
And I won't die today
Yeah, I'll be living, loving, writing down
And I'll live a life of dreams
And be greatful I'm around
Sunday, November 04, 2007
who posts 2 times a day?
Currently Listening : Sexy Is My Middle Name - Palm Trees
sarah posts 2 times a day. and you know why? because i am more unsure of what i want to/should/can do than ever now.
columbia vs. full sail / photojournalism vs music production
pro/con lists are not helping. i have no idea what to do. "do what makes you happy" "do what you are good at" i don't know. i have no idea whatsoever. i hate having to make such a huge decision.
april told me to take a year off. go to community collge, and get my pre-req's done and out of the way. yeah sure, that'd be cool i guess, but...community college? i don't know why, but the idea of going to fccj just gives me the chills. it's like...lowering my standards. no, i am not saying i'm better than people who attend community college, but i just never saw myself going that route...i just pictured myself going off to a bigger, well known school right after senior year. now though...i'm not too sure.
maybe going to fccj would be better for me. maybe having a year to decide what i want to do will help me out. i just don't know though. there's decisions to be made and it's all going and coming at me so fast. i don't have enough time. i don't have the money. i don't knwo what to do about anything and this makes me want to do absolutely nothing.
facts:
i don't care about capitalizing anymore
i miss october fall
i wish i didn't have to go to school anymore
sarah posts 2 times a day. and you know why? because i am more unsure of what i want to/should/can do than ever now.
columbia vs. full sail / photojournalism vs music production
pro/con lists are not helping. i have no idea what to do. "do what makes you happy" "do what you are good at" i don't know. i have no idea whatsoever. i hate having to make such a huge decision.
april told me to take a year off. go to community collge, and get my pre-req's done and out of the way. yeah sure, that'd be cool i guess, but...community college? i don't know why, but the idea of going to fccj just gives me the chills. it's like...lowering my standards. no, i am not saying i'm better than people who attend community college, but i just never saw myself going that route...i just pictured myself going off to a bigger, well known school right after senior year. now though...i'm not too sure.
maybe going to fccj would be better for me. maybe having a year to decide what i want to do will help me out. i just don't know though. there's decisions to be made and it's all going and coming at me so fast. i don't have enough time. i don't have the money. i don't knwo what to do about anything and this makes me want to do absolutely nothing.
facts:
i don't care about capitalizing anymore
i miss october fall
i wish i didn't have to go to school anymore
Its a mess
Currently Listening : Blackey licking himself
Sometimes I am too confused to even realized I'm confused. I feel like a crazy person, not even knowing what to think. I can't wait to be 18...its what everyone looks forward to. But at the same time I'm way too freaked out to be anything close to excited. There are so many decisions to be made and deadlines to meet, and how is any one person supposed to decide and accomplish this so fast?
I don't know where I'm going or what I'm going to do. I need to decide soon, but I do have some time. Its kind of a contradiction in it of itself really, and when I think of it like that it makes me kind of laugh. If I've got nothing to worry about then why am I worrying? There's no answer for this.
I guess happiness is my first goal. I'm just scared that I don't really know what happy is for me yet.
Facts:
I love daylight savings time
My trackball sucks
Sleeping on the couch > floor > bed
I'm posting from my sk and it's kinda weird.
Friday, November 02, 2007
:)
Currently Listening : Fall Out Boy -The Take Over, The Break's Over
Happy Birthday Grandpa!
Today you'd be....79! I honestly can't imagine being that old, no offense. I remember that on your 75th birthday Grandma took you some cake to the hospital. Sneaky little lady she was! If I could go back into time, I'd have gone with her that day, just to say I spent your last birthday with you. I regret not going to the hospital more to visit you. I know I only went twice in all those times and I will never not regret that. I should have toughed out being scared and just gone, but I didn't and I'm sorry.
So much has changed since that birthday, both good and bad as I'm sure you know. If you were still here, everything would be different. It's been almost 4 years...how crazy is that? I miss you so much. I had the best grandpa on the world and I didn't realize it until it was too late.
Happy Birthday again Papa...I love you.
Happy Birthday Grandpa!
Today you'd be....79! I honestly can't imagine being that old, no offense. I remember that on your 75th birthday Grandma took you some cake to the hospital. Sneaky little lady she was! If I could go back into time, I'd have gone with her that day, just to say I spent your last birthday with you. I regret not going to the hospital more to visit you. I know I only went twice in all those times and I will never not regret that. I should have toughed out being scared and just gone, but I didn't and I'm sorry.
So much has changed since that birthday, both good and bad as I'm sure you know. If you were still here, everything would be different. It's been almost 4 years...how crazy is that? I miss you so much. I had the best grandpa on the world and I didn't realize it until it was too late.
Happy Birthday again Papa...I love you.
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