This is mostly a continuation of my last post, except I like this one better.
So in the past few months I have come to see how some people around me, be they friends or just people, truly and really are and feel. I really don't get it to be honest. If you don't like someone so much why would you waste so much time, energy, and money begin friends and hanging out with them? Since last October 2 really good friends of mine decided we couldn't be friends anymore. I wish could know the reason of why I must suck so bad as a friend to have 2 people so abruptly just not want to ever talk to me again. And in both cases, I wasn't the friend that they tried to hurt. But it still did. I considered both of these girls my very best friends, and both just changed in a matter of days and decided this was how they wanted to be in life. Well more props to them I guess, but they way you've decided upon ending a friendship sucks if I do say so myself. Both of you "think" you're going somewhere in life. Call me in 5 years and let me know how that's going, okay?
I'm really fed up with kids at school. Being that this is my 3rd high school, I came in with a state of mind that I didn't want to make any friends. I think it's pretty inevitable to make a few here and there though. I only have about 10 friends at school and that's enough for me. I don't really want to deal with, let alone remember a lot of people. I've been called snotty for this. I don't see it as that, but maybe it is, so what? I don't like you, I don't have to like you, and you don't have to like me. This is why in more than half my classes I just sit there quietly and do my work. I don't need to deal with these people. It's easier to not know anyone and be completely unknown and just have to deal with class work...and I like it better that way.
Sometimes though, I get really tired of the friends I have or hang out with a lot. Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with my friends, but after you are with them every. single. day...it sometimes gets on my nerves. I only have specific people that this happens with, and maybe it's just cause we shouldn't hang out at all. Maybe it's because they are really that stupid. I don't know, but sometimes I just like some of my friends more than I like others. Is that normal? Is that wrong? Again, I don't know.I have come to the conclusion that I have trust issues. I'm a pretty pessimistic person (if it wasn't obvious already) and I don't expect much from anyone nor do I trust half of what is coming out of their mouths, best friends or not. I feel guilty for questioning my best friends, through words, actions, whatever. I consider a lot of my friends "best" friends for whatever unknown reason...it's like I'm just throwing the word out there and taking it for granted. Again, here comes the guilt. This really makes me frustrated and now I'm starting to hate this post. This isn't sounding right and I can't find the right way to say all of this with out letting on or ticking off people. In all honesty, I think I'm a really good friend. Better than some of the ones I've had, that's for sure. I try, and if someone doesn't like it, than goodbye. Whatever, I'm done.
And because I can, here are my best friends. Yeah, my dog is in here too.
