2008

It's that time of year again...oh, how I love end of year lists! Well, here are all of my favorites from the year, in my humble opinion.

Top Albums of 2008 (No order, minus top 3)

30) The Academy Is... - Fast Times At Barrington High
29) The Airborne Toxic Event - The Airborne Toxic Event
28) Paper Route - Are We All Forgotten
27) Cute Is What We Aim For - Rotation
26) 3OH!3 - Want
25) The Audition - Champion
24) Panic At The Disco - Pretty. Odd.
23) Augustana - Can't Love, Can't Hurt
22) Alkaline Trio - Agony and Irony
21) MGMT - Oracular Spectacular
20) Empires - Howl
19) Thrice - The Alchemy Index Vol. III & IV: Air & Earth
18) Every Avenue - Shh. Just Go With It
17) Good Old War - Only Way To Be Alone
16) Jason Mraz - We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things
15) Anberlin - New Surrender
14) Katy Perry - One of the Boys 14) Danger Radio - Used and Abused
13) Rise Against - Appeal to Reason
12) The All American Rejects - When the World Comes Down
11) Senses Fail - Life is Not a Waiting Room
10) Mayday Parade - A Lesson In Romantics
9) The Matches - A Band in Hope
8) Lights - Lights
7) Bayside - Shudder
6) Anthony Green - Avalon
5) Butch Walker - Sycamore Meadows
4) David Cook - David Cook
3) 2*Sweet - Sleep Without Dreams 2) Jack's Mannequin - The Glass Passenger
1) Fall Out Boy - Folie à Deux

Honorable Mentions of 2008 (aka I wish I listened to these albums more this year. ) (no order, minus #1)
10) Lydia - Illuminate
9) Keane - Perfect Symmetry
8) Phantom Planet - Raise The Dead
7) The Gaslight Anthem - The '59 Sound
6) Conor Oberst - s/t
5) Underoath - Lost In The Sound of Separation
4) Kanye West - 808's and Heartbreak
3) Copeland - You Are My Sunshine
2) Death Cab For Cutie - Narrow Stairs
1) Valencia - We All Need a Reason to Believe

Most Disappointing of 2008
1) Gym Class Heroes - The Quilt

Top Shows I went to in 2008 (No order, minus # 1...48 shows this year!)

10) Good Charlotte, Metro Station, The Maine @ House of Blues (7/30)
9) Alkaline Trio, Bayside, The Fashion @ Freebird Live (6/17)
8) Rise Against, Alkaline Trio, Thrice, The Gaslight Anthem @ House of Blues (10/23)
7) Bayside, Straylight Run, Four Year Strong, The Status @ Common Gounds (3/23)
6) Paramore, Jack's Mannequin, Phantom Planet, Paper Route @ Congree Theater (8/12)
5) New Found Glory, ISHC, A Day to Remember, Four Year Strong, Crime in Stereo @ Plush (10/4)
4) Jack's Mannequin, Treaty of Paris, Eric Hutchinson @ Social (10/16)
3) Senses Fail, The Number 12 Looks Like You, Dance Gavin Dance, Foxy Shazam @ Fuel (10/12)
2) The All-American Rejects, Jet Lag Gemini, The City Lives @ Social (11/6)
1) Fall Out Boy, The Academy Is..., We The Kings @ House of Blues (12/12)

I just have to say that I saw an abundance of bands this year. Many I love, some I didn't care for, and also a final tour. My biggest "honorable mention" show of the year goes to The Starting Line. I cannot wait to see them again, becuase I know it will happen.

Top Movies of 2008
3) Role Models
2) High School Musical: Senior Year
1) The Dark Knight

Rude humor, cheesy music, and great action. That's all I need.

Top Memories of 2008 (no order, minus #1)

10) Graduating High School.
9) Publix parking lots.
8) "Small Like Snake" and everything that happened on that day...wow.
7) Becoming a licensed driver.
6) Meeting Tim Gunn.
5) Obama and The Olympics. I'm putting these 2 together because they are the only "news worthy" items on this list. And its my list anyway, so I can do as I please.
4) Having Pete ask me the hardest question ever during a show.
3) Being the ONLY people at 2*Sweet in Jacksonville.
2) Warped Tour. From the AP Tent signings to standing on stage with TAI, to the sunburn. So awesome.
1) Going to Chicago with my Best Friend for a month, seeing all my old friends, acting like a tourist, eating the best pizza ever, going to Sheboygan, and seeing my cousin get married. Basically, the BEST August ever.


And there we have my 2008. What a great year. Good days, bad days, and tons of amazing memories. I think this may have beat 2007, which I totally claimed as my favorite year. Oh 2009, you have some mighty big shoes to fill...

Let the good times roll.

This year is down to a matter of hours...

Currently Listening: Copeland - Where's My Head

All year I promised myself not to look at my resolutions. I didn't want to TRY and achieve them. Rather, I wanted them to occur naturally. Now that the year is over, I am looking at them for the first time in 365 days.

Resolutions -
1. Finish High School and graduate with my class. This is going to be a challenge.
2. Get into college.
3. Get a new/better job.
4. Have clear skin.
5. Save some money.
6. Get my license.
7. Try really really really hard not to procrastinate. Like...really hard.
8. Have a picture published & do Project 366. (1 picture every day of the year.)
9. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (This one is just too personal. If it's completed, I'll let you know.)
10. Keep my resolutions.

1. Done! And so proud of myself.
2. Fccj counts. Whatever.
3. NOT. More like lost my job. Awesome.
4. YES! Honestly such a good year for my face. Heck yeah.
5. Negative.
6. YES! I really didn't think the day would come, but it did!
7. On a good day, I didn't. Motivation/Inspiration was a big part of this.
8. HAHAHA FAIL. I did however get asked to use my photos, but no publishing. Close!
9. Half/Half. I'm not upset though.
10. So I'd say I completed 5 1/2? That's good I suppose. Hopefully next year will be even better.

I can say things are good right now. Again, in the darkest of darks, there's a spark of hope. I'm happy.

Top 10's coming tomorrow.

It's getting easier all the time.

Currently Listening: Valencia - Better Be Prepared

I keep missing shows and it's the weirdest thing for me. I'm used to go to pretty much any show I feel like going to no matter how much I know about the bands. Money isn't growing on trees around here, so for many reasons, it's great that I'm not going to as many. I went to 48 this year. I think that beats last year, but I'm not positive. I'm pretty positive next year is going to not be as show filled, but that's okay.

This year's top lists will be up on Wednesday if I can ever finish. So much new music this year that I totally forgot about, so many cd's I have yet to listen to...ahh!

I am so cold right now.

This is what matters

Currently Listening: Fall Out Boy - W.A.M.S

If I could find something more that I love other than just hanging out with my best friends, doing really stupid stuff, laughing at stupid dirty jokes, and just LOVING LIFE....well, I don't know, but I don't think it's quite possible.

Do you want to see my hard drive, cause I've got a lot of ram.

I have a few things I need to do, some things I should be worrying about, some things I need to stop worrying about, and some creativity to let out. It'll get done. Sooner, hopefully, better than later.

There's only 5 days left in this year?

My Brithday.

Your Christmas.


Today is my favorite day of the year, always.
Smiles, Family, Friends, Gifts, Everything.
I love it all.

5 hours

Left of being 18.

My birthday is tomorrow. I really can't believe it's time to move on from this age I'm cherishing. I love being 18. The number is so full of wonder, and it's an age that you crave to be for so long. I really don't want to get any older than this. I really wanted this.

I'm gonna stay 18 forever
so we can stay like this forever
and we'll never miss a party
cuz we keep them going constantly
and we'll never have to listen
to anyone about anything
cuz it's all been done and its all been said
we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get
the hell out of this town
find some conversation
the low fuel lights been on for days
doesn't mean anything
I've got another 500 another 500 miles before we
shut this engine down
we shut it down
I'm gonna stay 18 forever

To my dearest Black Abyss,

Happy 20th Birthday.
xo

I've got this creative fire in me.

I'm ready to let it burn.

Real ART coming soon. I'm thrilled.

3 years

And there's still a light on in Chicago. And I KNOW I should be home.
And truly, there was a pickup truck out in front of my neighbor's
house.

The morning I'll never forget.
The morning I want to forget.
The day everything changed.

I'm still sorry we left on your birthday, Cheese. Happy 17th.

Revived

I am listening to the same 10 songs over and over again, and by God, do they make me feel amazing.

I don't want to post this.

Currently Listening: Jamestown Story

I'm moving myself farther away as to not be brought down. I'm letting myself feel this way on purpose. I'm the nicest form of mean.

I'm a giver, not a taker.

One of the hardest things for me to do is ask a question. I do not like depending on people; being unsure of something. In school, with friends, my whole life. I'm not one to raise a hand for an answer. I figure things out on my own with no questions ask and no help borrowed. It's how I've always done things. I feel guilty asking, I suppose. I feel this awful feeling inside when I do. As if I'm being a burden, a pest, an annoyance. This is why I don't ask questions or favors. I do things on my own, alone, and I accomplish what I do. I am proud of myself in whatever the situation, and knowing that I had no help makes it so much more worthwhile.

I do though, love being asked for help. I'm at full pleasure to lend a hand, and idea, a word to help a person out, especially a friend. Isn't the the basic job description of a friend? I try to be a great friend - to not be a letdown. And I expect the same back - I give, you give, we work together. I try not to ask much of my friends. Again, being an annoyance is not what I am striving for. When I look back at every friend I have lost, I can see that there is a pattern of me trying, and trying,...and trying. And nothing in return.

Nevertheless; When I do find that I cannot do something without help, when I know that what I need will need help from someone, I place my offer on the table. I ask for the little bit of help I need and hope that at least some sort of action will come from this to me.

I've been let down before; I can take this. Acting in spite is a talent I have and can demonstrate well. This, I know.

There are a million more things I could write about all of this. I don't even know what my goal was in posting this. I feel...awful. About what happened/is happening/will happen. I'm tired of counting on people and waiting around. I need to stop letting this happen to me. And for all of this, I avoid the problem.

just getting up for the let down

done.

Boycott Love

We don't do this to one another because we hate each other. We talk this trash to make us feel better. We have the worst jealousy issues. We are only happy together; being apart is lethal.

This isn't about you. It's about me.

Me and my issues with current situations. (That you won't know about) Me and my angry words. (That you won't know about) Me and these secrets. (That you won't know about) Just simply, me.

Let's get over ourselves. Let me, get over me.

Folie à Deux / When the World Comes Down

Currently the best albums I own.

There is not very much that I love more than getting a new cd and hearing it for the first time. I will never download a leak, especially for bands I love. It's not worth this great of a feeling.

Every dot com's refreshing for a journal update

On Friday, December 12th, I went to one of my favorite shows of all time. It was my 10th (and favorite) Fall Out Boy show.

10+ hour wait. Check.
Temperatures that should not be waited in. Check. (Hey, 40 degrees in Florida is NOT fun, okay?)
Dumb people in line. Check.
Anxiety. Check.
Excitement. Double Check.

The day started at 5:30, continued with a 2 hour drive, naps on the ground, a P. Stumph lookalike, awesome noon deadlines, cutting stupid people in line, being cut by stupid people not in line, and still basically landing where we have always landed. In retrospect, the day was perfect.

I'm not the hugest fan of We The Kings, but I am the hugest fan of red heads. I liked them (red heads) before Travis made you realize his was great. Try me. They do play a good live set though, and I got that clapping part down finally so that was fun. Their set was short which was very helpful.

The Academy Is... for the 9th time was great. I was surprised at the long set they played which even included 'Rumored Nights' and 'Everything We Had' which I was definitely not expecting. I love it when Beckett drops the mic stand in his little choreographed microphone spins. I had my Bears scarf with me (thanks times a million to Katie for that), and it took almost the whole set for him to realize I had it although Carden was eying it the whole time. That or he just looked down at me a lot, very crazy-like. When Bill did see it though, I think he got too excited and tried to take it from me...or he just likes reaching out a lot. Then of course he had to mention the previous night's game. You're welcome for the reminder.

The stupid announcements in between bands made me more anxious than I already was. The club music hardly helped since the transition in between songs was awful. When the lights finally went down I could hardly control myself.

Seeing them on that stage was surreal. All week I couldn't believe I was going to that show and here I was finally seeing it unveil before my eyes. The opening song was Thnks, which I have to say is quite strange, but completely epic. The crowd was really loud and I liked that very much. Thriller was next and Amber and I got a bit emotional there. That second verse always hits my heart in a special spot; I absolutely love it.

The set was getting better and better, the crowd was awesome, and I was containing all of my emotions. That is of course until about halfway through it.
"Hey, you!"
I stare. I know this is not me he's talking to.
"Not you, YOU"
At this point, I figured it wasn't me. The only bands that call me out from the stage are ones that I hardly even know. He wasn't talking to me.
"Yeah, you with the Bears scarf thing."
He was talking to ME.
Now, let's get this straight. I am not a fan girl of his, I don't have his face plastered on my wall, and I have never considered him my "favorite." But I definitely respect this man more than some of my close friends. 100%.
"What's your biggest problem in life?"
So I stare, wide-eyed, mouth open, freaking stare at Pete Wentz. What am I supposed to say? All I can think about in those 5 seconds was "I need to say something." Amber then saves my life (THANK YOU SO MUCH) and tells me, "Say money, say money, money."
"Money." I spoke the words hardly loud enough for the security guard in front of me to hear it, but he heard it 10 feet above me.
"Money? No, no. Alright, all you gotta say to that is I DONT CARE."
Then he went off and asked another person the same question. I don't remember what else happened. All I felt was emotions of relief, like I had just spilled a huge secret to everyone in House of Blues. In a way, I did, but no one knows that. And once that song started playing I cried my little eyes out. Before seeing it live, I just really liked that song and hardly realized what it meant. In that 10 second conversation I realized that song meant more than any of their songs had ever meant to me.

To top off the entire evening they played 'Chicago Is So Two Years Ago.' I cannot hear that song without crying and knowing how true it is. I know it's a song they normally only play at home, but I appreciate it every time I get to hear it away from there. Losing my voice singing along to it is worth it every single time.

Saturday is always so bittersweet. I love hearing it, but I hate knowing the end of the night is about 4 minutes away. I didn't catch anything, there was no confetti, and Pete didn't stand on our side of the barricade, but this was my favorite Fall Out Boy show. This made me fall in love with them 10 times more than I already was. The night was more than memorable.

After the show we pushed into a mob of girls to meet Travis, succeeded, sat in the cold for a good hour, Amber and Vik saw a shooting star, and then we talked to D. Blaise from This Providence. (Cue this song, hah.) We saw the bus leave, so that was the end of waiting. I guess I was disappointed, but at least we didn't give up and leave before knowing they had left too.

To conclude, Fall Out Boy is my favorite, and I not a thing can change that.

diehard.

I will state my case, but I could be wrong

Currently Listening: The Starting Line

I will never understand why you don't trust me. If that is, in fact, the case. Is it? I don't know either. I feel like I get pushed aside, like I'm not your friend, let alone one of your best friends. Things shouldn't be like this.

I miss the innocence of us.

I'M TRYING

I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING
I'M TRYING





Good is never good enough.
I'm just about done.

To my favorite floridian,

Happy birthday Amber, ah luv yew.

Spending money

Currently Watching: Jay Leno

Makes me feel like I actually have money. I don't.

I do however have a cold. I jut got over a cold about 2 months ago so I didn't expect another one so soon, but that just shows how awful my immune system is to me. I need to keep up with vitamins.

Today is my last day of MAT0024. That means no more college for me until...I really don't know when. I need to do some serious thinking.

I'm feeling okay right now and I like this sort of plateau we've landed upon. It's a safe spot, that's for sure, and I don't know how long we'll be here, but I like it. I'm satisfied.

December

The last 31 days of the year.
The last chance to do something. To make something. To change something.
I'm not going to deny that I'm nervous. scared. anxious. excited. About everything.

My birthday is in 25 days.
What?
I feel like my last birthday just happened a few months ago, not a year ago.
I'm going to be 19.
19 is an ugly number. It's an awkward one. You're a teenager, but you're about to be in your 20's. It's just going to be really strange.

The future can stay where it's at because I'm too busy trying to still realize the present has already arrived.

Heaven help us.

This is me

"Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken."


thanks, Dr. Phil.

No one thinks I'm making any sense

Currently Listening: 2*Sweet - Life's Black Ice

Day 3 of house sitting.
Everyone is alive and well. Biscuit is rolling around on the floor, Roxy and Quiggly are sound asleep, and Splenda is lying at my feet starring at the carpet. I'm sure all the cats are sleeping too.
I've completely mastered the art of walking 4 dogs at a time, if I do say so myself. (And I do.) Sleeping with the herd of them is also another newly discovered talent of mine. (And yes, it is a talent.)

In other news, last night at the 3oh!3 show, in which 3oh!3 did not play (voice issues belonging to Sean) I had a great time watching The Chain Gang of 1974 and Innerpartysystem. Kam's drumming and IPS's lights made the show that was going to be "lame" a whole lotta awesome.

Things I need to do:
- Study for Mat0024 exit
- Edit AAR pictures (2 shows, guh)
- Finish New Moon finally

I'll let you know when I stop procrastinating.

House Sitting

Currently Listening: Sublime - Santeria

So I'm at Amber's, house sitting. I've been here for just over a day and I'm enjoying myself quite frankly. It's like being on vacation with 7 animals! I love all 4 dogs, they're awesome. Quiggly is my new shadow. Just being away from home for a few days is really nice.

Today is thanksgiving and I can't wait to go home for an hour and eat green bean casserole and tofurkey and rolls and all sorts of food. A nice slice of pumpkin pie would be awesome right about now.

I brought a lot of things with me that I "need to do" but getting around to them....well, that's a whole different issue.

Every generation sends a hero up the pop charts

...shifting one’s individual focus and regaining the strength to live another day without any challenges keeping you sore. It can hurt, you can bleed… but you still remain; you are still alive...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

today is a day that i did not want to exist.
today i wish i did not exist.

but,
today does exist.
today i exist.

today we start a new chapter.
today we get closer to the truth and farther from the sky.
or is it vice versa?

Midnight screenings are for weirdos

Currently Listening: The Chain Gang of 1979

Just got back from seeing Twilight. Out of 5 stars? I give it a 4. No matter if people like it/hate it/love it, this movie is going to make a ton of money. I'd have rather seen Harry Potter tonight, JUST FREAKING SAYING.

I can't sleep

Currently Listening: There For Tomorrow - Taking Chances

For the past few days my sleep pattern has been so off. I went to bed at 5am on Saturday and woke up at 2pm. On Sunday I went to bed at 4am and woke up at almost 3pm. Monday was really strange because I went to bed at maybe 2am but I slept til 3pm. So I was really nowhere near tired at around midnight on Tuesday, but I had class so I thought I should sleep. That didn't work so I just stayed up til 6am, slept for 2 hours, went to class, slept for maybe an hour then did some things, then slept for about 90 minutes. My poor body is so confused now. Maybe if I had a job or a steady schedule this wouldn't be an issue. Not much I can do about that...

I finally cleaned Salmon's bowl today, I hope he loves me again now. I also finally shipped my books back to Chegg so they can stop emailing me already. My Flickr is almost close to up to date, I love getting that done!

I need to seriously start deciding on what to get everyone for Christmas. I am drawing blanks for everyone :(

Just a few days now...fingers crossed.
Now we just drive away from everything I know
You're counting days on the back of your hands
You turn the pages 'til you have no more plans

Digging: Sycamore Meadows, Pages EP, United Nations

haha

Currently Listening: Mayday Parade - Jamie All over

I go to a show about every 11 days.

go look at my pictures

Surprise!

Currently Listening: Fall Out Boy - Dance, Dance

Yesterday we threw a surprise party for Trey. I love my little clan of friends. I wish we could do everything together. We played pin the tail on the donkey, ate cupcakes, laughed, talked, played Rock Band at WalMart, and Amber read us excerpts from those desperate housewife books Kristen enjoys. Just the porn parts, you know what I'm talking about.

Today Amber and I woke up at 2, bummed around, and then went to Town Center. Then we went to a lame Twilight thing/excuse for a party, and then back to town center for Yogaberry which is seriously the next best thing to Jamba.

some random things:
- We are going back to Chicago right before Christmas, mostly for the last 2*Sweet show.
- Chadam needs to go back home to Amber's *fingers crossed*
- I'm getting better with keeping up with my flickr.
- Totally wanted to go to INpassing's video shoot...

planning things

driving me crazy.


(Amber - Totally a mix of both! you know what I'm talking about, haha. I'm feeling like chris where I honestly just say EVERYTHING. Good thing neither of us is like hackysak otherwise i wouldn't read your blog at all.)

nothing makes me happier:

11:11 - 11/11

Currently Listening: Butch Walker - The Weight of Her

Stop making wishes, they aren't coming true.

I still haven't gotten my new BW cd so I have to stick with the 2 downloads I got. Lamesauce.

With as many good things that have happened/are happening/will be happening, I can't get over the one thing on my mind.

My All-American Favorites

Currently Listening: AAR - The Last Song

Super lame title, sue me.

Preface: If you don't know, I absolutely love and adore The All-American Rejects. We started out with a rough start back in late 2003/early 2004, but by late 2004 I had to give in and love them. 4 years later they are still one of my favorites.

Day 1: Yes, Vik and I got in line ridiculously early, but we had our reasons and no other choice. We're probably going to be on AAR TV for it anyway, so there. Also, I helped Tyson decide on what he was going to eat for lunch. Hello, Subway. So, let's skip to the show. The City Lives opened, and even though I think their name is kind of dumb, I like them. Kinda The Hush Sound/The Graduate feel. I was digging it. Jet Lag Gemini was next and wow. For being around my age they play some mean guitar and have a killer stage presence. I really enjoyed them. And finally, after a 2 year wait, The All-American Rejects. This was their first show back, their first show playing the finished new songs, and their first time in the Social since 2005. The 13 song set was so great and they played one heck of a show. Starting it with My Paper heart and ending it with The Last Song brought back memories of summers ago in Chicago. I fell in love with them all over again. After the show we talked with Tyson for quite a while, and we saw his interaction with (extremely) drunk females. In the end, we got 5 spots on the guest list for the next night's show. In-freaking-credible.

Day 2: We got there much later, stood in the back, and still had a killer time. Seeing the same show from 2 different perspectives is really neat. The crowd for this show was bigger, but much less enthusiastic than the previous night's. Still though, AAR gave it their all, including a hit at the Coldplay show happening about a mile away.

Overall, both nights were a great experience. Thanks to April & Melissa for making it that much better too. ;) And til the day I die I will defend Tyson Ritter. He is not a jerk, no where near egotistical, and he is not a liar. To me he is one of the friendliest, nicest, and most caring guys I have ever been able to meet. Sorry if your experience with him was something less.


you can sit beside me when the world comes down

Go on, give up, you'll never win

Currently: People watching

Last night I saw Bayside, which we all know is one of my top 5 favorites. I was almost embarrassed for Orlando as to how small the crowd was, but after talking about it with Chris, I understand that most were like this. Not that it makes it any better, but at least we weren't the most horrbile show. I've seriously NEVER seen HOB as empty as it was though, so weird. I'll expect the next tour to be back at the Social, thank you very much. The ticket confusion for this show was all sorts of stupid, but helping Valencia was nice. The Status and Valencia played good even if only 10 kids were into them. The Matches...why have I never seen them?! I absolutely loved them, although I wish they could play Chain Me Free becasue I've never seen it live. Shawn Harris is beautiful. Bayside was completely fantastic. My favorite thing about Bayside is seeing them live and even if this wasn't the *best* time, hearing the new songs live was awesome.

Right now I'm sitting in front of the Social with Vik waiting for The All-American Rejects. This means more to me than you'll ever know.

CHANGE

Barack Obama is the new President of the United States of America.

The state of Florida is blue tonight, and I am beyond proud to live here right now. I never would have guessed that he'd take our state, but the fact that he did and that we are what helped him win is so exciting. I voted for Obama and I feel as if I've made a difference. I'm beyond thrilled that I got to vote in this historical election and that my vote went to the winner. I am proud to be an American and to see where this takes us. This is a change we can believe in.

Things are looking up

that's all we can ask for, right?

today we celebrate

To the absolute best and most amazing person I have ever known. No one has ever taught me so much and giving me a new meaning to the word hero. I miss you and I love you.

Happy 80th Birthday, Grandpa.

November

I can't say you are welcomed with open arms, but you are here. It is with all my will that I pray the next few weeks slowly go by. I need all the time in the world now.

I've waited a long time for this!

Currently Listening: Nightmare Revisited

I just got back from Hellogoodbye. I have waiting 4 years for this day. No, not seeing Hellogoodbye, that's happened 5 times already. A show on Halloween! Every year I hope and hope for one, and sometimes they come close but tonight was the first time it's actually happened and let me tell you, it was SWEET.

Kristen, Trey, and I were zombies, Vik was Katy Perry, Jordan was Amy Winehouse, and Amber was the best freaking ghost EVER. I wish we would have taken a group picture, we all looked so great. It took us zombies quite a while to get ready, but I believe the end result was awesome if I do say so myself:So we got there well after doors, and just in time for NeverShoutNever!. The exclamation is on his behalf and not beucase of any excitement I had to see him. If you can guess, I presonally do not like nsn, so whatever. Fast forward to us being there for about 30 minutes and Forrest Kline walks by and I fangirl. I've always waned to meet him, not necessarily in Zombie attire, but it would have to do! He's a sweet dude, and pretty adorable.

After some chi-chatting and Amber and Jordan finally making it there, we watched Ace Enders. I really like this dude, and whatever badn he's playing in, I'll listen. Then we waited and waited and then it was time for Hellogoodbye. I totally forgot how much I love this band. So what if the only member really left is Forrest, they still were really great. There was a pit during pretty much the entire set, which made NO SENSE, but it was all fun! Touchdown Turnaround will forever be the best ending to a show. Oh, and HGB were dressed as ladies, it was pretty fancy/histerical. "I'm dancing for myself tonight girls!"

I drove home and blasted Nightmare Before Christmas songs, and now here I sit. Tired, hungry, and kinda gross looking. This was probably the best Halloween since I was like 10.

I hate cars

But what would we do without them? Kristen and I had quite an adventure tonight. One tiny little flat tire has turned into a multi-hour dilemma.
This is so ridiculous.

More later on a bunch of things.

ps. heart beatz.

3 year later and you're never ever ever out of my mind.
xo

I'm allowed to be angry

Currently Listening: HSM3 - OST (in its entirety)

First of all, in my last post I wrote that it was Thursday when it was actually Wednesday. My bad.

(Now on to the most cryptic obvious post ever. Get angry at me for it and it will amuse me. At this point I don't care.)

One. I'm tired of people assuming. Not a specific person, just in general. Do you know what happens when you assume? Google it.

Two. If you don't know the background story, keep your mouth shut and your eyes focused. My patience for rude people and eye rollers is growing thin.

Three. So sick of your persona's. Do you really think being nice to everyone means being like everyone? Its sickening, stop it.

Four. I am so sick an tired of running in circles. This has become what feels like a weekly routine of ours, don't you think? Every week there's some sort of petty drama ridiculousness and I've had it to the very brim with all of this. I try to fix, ignore, joke about, and get upset with everything, but nothing ever helps the situation. At this point I'd honestly rather stay at home with my mom and sister (which, if you haven't notice, HAS been going on) than go out. Its become a hassle. A stress. Something I don't look forward to anymore. Why can't we go back to the good old days?

I know why. I know the exact detailed reason why. Do I dare state it?

Never.

I'm not trying to start anything. I'm not angry about the dumb stuff.
I'm just stating facts and my emotions. Nothing anyone says will change this.

And all of this is why I only have 3 close friends. Its why my friends live 1200 miles away. Its why I have accepted the fact that I don't need anyone but my mom and sister to have a good day.

This is why I don't care.

I smell of cigarettes & day old perfume

Currently Listening: The low hum of my fishbowl's filter

I hate phone updates.

My nose is so stuffed up. I really have nothing to update about, but I feel like writing.

I (sort of) saw Breathe Carolina last night. They might be seen as total jokes, and even jerks, but I absolutely love them. And to be totally honest, Pierce the Veil puts on an energetic and entertaining show.

Its technically Thursday since its past 12, so later today I have nothing to do and even more nothing to do, plus an eye appointment, plus nothing.

I really need to get a life.

I've got weak skin

Currently Listening: (Forgive Durden) Razia's Shadow: A Musical

It's getting colder.
The days are getting shorter, the nights are getting longer, and time is slowly speeding away. I am getting lost in all these changes and I don't know what's going on anymore.

I miss when I used to walk home from the city bus and crunch on leaves. I miss when I didn't even notice the weather changes and they just "happened." I miss knowing that 50 degrees in October was normal. I miss the expected.

Florida has given me warm blood and I can't take this all of a sudden "changing" and record lows. I'm feeling low all over and I want my high of 73 sunny breeze typical "Fall" weather back.

My days have been good recently...too good. I've been getting carried away. I know the clock is ticking and I know I'm taking all of this for granted. Change is not what I want for once. I'd like to go back to when I knew how things were going to be. Take back the cold weather for all I care too.

promise not to let go

Currently Listening: Rise Against - Hero of War (on repeat)

To say that I had a good weekend would be unjust because it was really very awesome. Here's what went down.

On Thursday we went down to Orlando for Rise Against. I'm never going to understand why at 4 o'clock in the afternoon there were only 10 people in line. Of course there was already a girl there for Tokio Hotel the next night (more on that later), but I guess it's a good thing since we didn't want to be any farther back than that. Waiting in line for 2 hours was a breeze, especially with a bunch of funny dudes.
The lineup was The Gaslight Anthem, Thrice, Alkaline Trio, and Rise Against. Any of those 3 big name bands could have easily sold out House of Blues alone, as they have in the past, so the fact the the 3 of them were there together was incredible. Gaslight was really great. I'd only listened to their stuff a few times before seeing them, but they totally won me over with their awesome live show. Thrice is such an epic band to watch. They are almost theatrical, and the sound is impeccable. "Broken Lungs" will always be one of my favorite songs of all time, especially live. Alkaline Trio was the third up on stage. I really love seeing these guys live. You'd never think 3 dude could make 2000 people show so much energy, but they do every time. Some of my favorites weren't played, but they still had a great set.
And now for the night's headliner, Rise Against. This was my second time seeing them, and just as before they blew me away. They have such great stage presence and Tim is a great front man. Hearing the new songs live was great, especially "Hero of War." It bothers me that "Give It All" is played so early in the set; I wish they would close with it. Watching them live gives me such motivation and empowerment to go and do anything I set my mind to, I love it.
Overall, the show was completely worth every cent and I wish I could see another date of it. I got to meet Matt Skiba after the show which was something I've been waiting for since 2005. That was great. I also met Zach Blair and Tim McIlrath. Zach was super fun to meet, and being able to meet Tim for the second time was completely unexpected but totally appreciated. All in all, such a phenomenal night.

The next day Amber and I were going to see Tokio Hotel. We decided to be really obnoxious and ironic and "dress up" like jerks, so we did. I thought we were cute to be honest. We got there at 10 or so in the morning and the line was already longer than that of Rise Against's from the day prior. As the day slowly progressed, the line continued to grow and the girls just got more and more obnoxious. These girls (because 98% of them were females) didn't like the band, no; they lived and breathed Tokio Hotel. It was so crazy to see and I totally felt left out from all of it because in all honestly I'd heard maybe 10 songs and really didn't care much at all. In retrospect, I guess I wish I had known more, but it was cool to see it in a different perspective. By 3 pm the line was enormous and so was the one for the Virgin Megastore meet and greet. We waited til 5:30 to meet them, heard girls scream for them for a majority of that time, and meeting them lasted all of 10 seconds. My views on their personalities are: Bill looks like a doll, and is really over the top, but he's nice. I even got a picture of him in which he looks pretty stupid, but at least he let me take it. Tom is quiet and didn't even really look up. He's the Benji to Bill's Joel. (Hah) Georg (who needs an 'e' at the end of his name) has a nice smile and was nice. I found him to be the friendliest in the .2345 seconds I could say hello. Gustav was what you could say the typical drummer is. Sign, Hi, next. He's cute though. Back in the original show line we stood super cramped and listening to typical line drama. All I was concerned with was getting Amber to think "small like snake" and get her in fast to be where she wanted to be. When the opened the gate to let us in I honestly thought we were going to get trampled. Whenever we really have to rush into a venue I know I forget about the rest of the world and just focus on getting in. It's funny to replay it in my mind afterward. Amber and I did a great job and ended up beating most of the people originally in front of us in and landed on a perfect barricade spot. We then had to wait 2.5 hours for those TH fools to get on stage. So ridiculous. Girls were dying left and right, free water was given out, and no one would stop yelling and complaining. The show itself was really good. They kept me entertained, and even when they didn't, their crazy fans did. I have to say it's pretty cool o know that a good 95% of the people there were all seeing this band live for the first time and yet knew every single word and loved this band so much. That doesn't really happen with many bands these days. After seeing them I can finally take them more serious as a "band" and not a joke, and the music is quite good. I like being won over for good reasons!
(I'm sure you're thrilled to read this Amber :] )

So after meeting 7 band dudes, 2 trips to House of Blues, 2 different hotels, lots of laughing, lots of waiting, and lots of fun, I'm home, rested, and ready for my next show. I am living some of the best times ever right now, and I love it all.

making 'to do' lists

Currently Listening: Waiting for the Final Leaf to Fall - Paper Route

They really aren't helping me right now. I have about 4 floating around, even on my phone, and I haven't kept up with any of them. *SIGH* Just another thing to add to a list of things I need to get better at...

Tonight I am seeing Rise Against, Thrice and Alkaline Trio. There will DEFINITELY been a post about that greatness. Tomorrow I'm seeing Tokio Hotel and I'm probably going to die from laughing. (iluamber)

I'm letting myself go again...

Currently Listening: Yellowcard - Five Becomes Four

I've missed my Math class 2 days in a row now. I feel really guilty about this. I know the last thing I need to be doing is missing a math class, and not freaking 2 on top of that. I need to get back on track with that ASAP.

So many things are keeping me awake at night. I really need to clear my mind. I'm feeling the art bug like nobody's business, but I'm not doing much about it. All of this makes me restless. Getting better with using my time is something I have to work on. However, I have been working on cleaning up my computer space. Uploading videos and pictures to sites so I can be rid of them feels awesome, and I'm definitely on a roll with that, so go me.

Don't you hate it when someone says they are going to do something and your plans are up in the air because of that, so you're waiting on a response from them so you can go ahead with your plans, but they don't get back to you so you change your plans and then they get mad?
Probably the most confusing/stupid sentence ever, wow.

Right now I'm really loving inPASSING a bunch. Get on it.

bffl

10.20.2005 - FOREVER

Toni P. Hanson is my best friend in the entire face of the universe. I don't tell her enough how much I love her or appreciate her eyes for reading every stupid little word I write! We live 1200 miles apart, are 18 months apart in age, and have lived totally different lives, but all in all we are BEST FRIENDS. I don't know why she added me on Myspace when she did, but I am so grateful for it. She means the world to me and I know that I can tell her anything. We are each others biggest fans, and one day we're going to write a book and travel the country. Or just be best friends. Something along those lines!

<3

Dedication takes a lifetime, dreams only last for a night.

Currently Listening: Time Life: Ultimate Rock Ballads of the 70s/80s Collection (seriously)

I really would like to own this collection. But $150 for 153 songs is kind of obnoxious if you ask me.

So I guess I should talk about my weekend, and how much I genuinely enjoyed it. It's not even over yet and it's going great. Let's start with Thursday.

"So she died?!"
I picked up Amber around 2, and we went to Freebird. Come to find out, the show is sold out so I had to take Vik back home. Had Every Avenue been there early I know she could have gotten in, but whatever. I will always hate All Time Low fans and being near so many of them. They are a bunch of dumb little girls and they make me feel so old. After the drama and Amber almost fighting some 14 year olds, we go in and decide against the barricade to stand against the stage. If you ask me that's a ton better anyway.
Every Avenue did a good job. Both time I've seen them have been entertaining. Singer boy really has got a foul mouth, I kind of got annoyed with that personally. The Maine was really awesome. I don't know what it is about them I like so much but they are so catchy and I love watching them live.
Now on to the worst part of the night...Mayday Parade. Let me first say, I LOVE their music. I thoroughly enjoy their EP and their full length and I was really excited to finally see them play live. The crowd seemed to think they were really jammin' but I was so disappointed in how they played and sang. I don't even know how to explain what was wrong, but the music that was being played was not the great music I had been listening to on my iPod. I really don't think I can ever stand to see them live again, unless forced. It was just that bad.
Now for All Time Low. Again, I will start this with a disclaimer: I love All Time Low. I don't know what it is, or how hard I might try to deny it, but this band is seriously just so great right now and I could care less what anyone says about them. They opened with 'Poppin' Champagne' which I thought was pretty strange, but it worked for them. They had a teaser of confetti and everyone in that place was having a blast. Jack has so much energy, I love watching him play. I really like the way Alex sounds live, and the overall sound of the set was super solid. No matter how many times I see them I love their dumb dirty jokes and Alex messing sometihng up ("Our full length, Put Up or Shut Up...") always. It just adds to my enjoyment of them as an overall band. They played the oldie but goodie 'Circles' which I'm pretty sure I've never seen them play, but I very much did enjoy. The closer was 'Dear Maria,' and the place went wild one last time with a ton of confetti and tech dudes stage diving all over the place. No matter how stupid their fans are I see them for the genuine pop-punk band they are, with a great live show. They are all super nice dudes, and that just makes me like them a bunch more. And for the record, Jack can stop wearing that ugly White Sox hat because we all know Red and Blue is where it's at.

After less than 2 hours of sleep we were off to Orlando for night 2 of this weekend's tour. I'm honestly going to shows every weekend of October - half of November, so it's basically like being on tour. I love it.

"I love you, but if you're gonna keep yelling Konstantine, the exit is right over there."
We got in line at 8 in the morning. Was this necessary at all? No. Jack's Mannequin didn't even get there until 1 in the afternoon, so what the heck were we doing? Being fans. It really doesn't bother me what time we got there or how long we waited, it was worth every second. A few hours before doors we met Andrew McMahon and just as the 2 other times I've met him I was so nervous to even go up to him. He's one of the nicest guys ever though, and I appreciate that a ton. There was no line drama so that is always an added plus!
The stage was super crowded and full of ugly wires, 2 drum kits, a excess amount of guitars, and a baby grand. Thank goodness only 3 bands were playing. Treaty of Paris played a stripped down set that I really enjoyed. Eric Hutchinson was so talented and fun to watched. I can't believe I've never heard of this guy, minus the one song of his that I recognized as a Jamba song. He was the prefect combination of Mraz and Degraw; I couldn't help but fall in love. Hopefully he does some of his own touring after this stint.
An evening spent watching Jack's Mannequin is an evening that will change anyone's vision of live music around. This was my 8th JM show and it was definitely one of my favorites. (Probably all time favorite, to be honest) Hearing the brand new songs off of 'Glass Passenger' just a mere 3 weeks after it was released was so great. It didn't matter if I knew all the words or loved every song yet; seeing them come alive was kept me in awe the entire night. Being able to stand 3 feet in front of Andrew and watching him put every ounce of energy into the set was marvelous. 'Bruised' will forever be my favorite song of his to see live no matter what. My new favorite, 'Caves' was completely captivating and so freaking beautiful live. Andrew is honestly sent from the heavens - I've yet to see another front man with a presence like him, and I absolutely fall in love all over again every time I see him. He closed the set with "La La Lie" which is totally expected, but I still loved. We got limited signed (only 100 printed) movie poster sized lithographs afterward and they are so nice. Right afterward we embarked on our very long and very exhausted ride home. There was no other way I would have rather spent my night.

I have many more amazing weekends to come, and I'm thrilled for them. This is a great way to be spending these last few months of excessive show-goings. I know a lot of this is going to end soon, so I'd rather spend it watching my favorite bands than anything else. Right now, I'm loving my life so much.

Does being in college automatially mean you lose sleep?

Currently Listening: Mayday Parade

I believe the answer is a simple "yes." I just got through uploading my Senses Fail pictures and I'm so glad I did. This is honestly the first time in my life that I've uploaded pictures less than 24 hours of the show being over. Go me!

Overall the show was brilliant. I still remember the first day I heard of Senses Fail, reading about them in Threat magazine, randomly asking my mom to buy me their CD, and falling in love with them. Last night was the first time I have ever seen them in an indoor setting and I'm glad I saved all my love for them til then. Jacksonville really has some love for SF and I'm glad I got to partake in that.

In other news...there is none. I'm super tired now, and I have class in 6.5 hours. Gross.

I inherited this from a stranger I'll never miss

Senses Fail - Family Tradition

Twelve days into a month and I've got to say, it's been one of my favorites for 2008. Here is the summary of what has been going on in my neck of the woods:

10/3 - The Academy Is... in Orlando. Really great show to say the least. I'm kinda bummed about spending an unnecessary $40 for a stupid fan club, but hey you only live once I guess, right? I can sum up this day with the phrase "Too Legit!"

10/4 - New Found Glory in Jax. So I'm kind of really glad this show was moved from Fuel to Plush because otherwise my injuries probably would have been 100x as severe. Right when International Superheroes took the stage the entire barricade moved up a good 3 feet and I honestly thought it was going to flip. Four Year Strong made me lose my voice again. I really shouldn't scream so loud! New Found Glory will never disappoint me. The show was so solid and I got another nfg stick. Yes!

10/8 - inPASSING at 10pm in an empty room. I really hope these dude tour again soon with a good lineup, they truely deserve to have a solid following, especially in Florida. Troy is the most talkative dude I have ever met, and I love the wierd band gossip chats we have, haha. "I can't count, thats why I play music!"

10/10 - The Rocket Summer in Orlando. I am so glad I decided to make it down to this show! The Morning Light, The Secret Handshake, and Phantom Planet did a great job of starting the show off, but my hat definitely goes off to Bryce and The Rocket Summer for being a great headling band. I went into this show a bit skeptical as to how they would be in such a "big" venue as a headlining band (I saw them there at House of Blues just a year ago as an opener and it did not come anywhere close to comparing to this show), but boy was I proved wrong! The set list was perfect and so was the performance. Also, all if forgiven and well in my book with a certain someone and I am VERY happy about that.

That's really about it for the month so far. I've got a bunch more coming up, and I'm excited for everything.

It's October...

HOLY COW, ITS OCTOBER.

ahhhrrrgggg

Currently Listening: The Killers - Jenny Was a Friend of Mine

My insides are hating me soooo much right now. I ate 2 brownies and that was obviously a bad idea.

I'm procrastinating really horribly right now. My 2nd paper is due tomorrow and I'm roughly done, but I'd like to fix it up a bit. I'd also like to not do it at all. Oh the joys of life!

I need the next 4 days to sort of fly by. Good shows are coming up!

THEY LIED WHEN THEY SAID THE GOOD DIE YOUNG!

Currently Listening (nonstop) - Anberlin

Last night I saw Anberlin acoustic at this nice little record store by the beach. I'm really loving this band right now, and I'm glad we got to see them in such a cool way. Their headlining tour is going to be great.

New music right now is very A+. I'm liking everything I'm hearing, and starting next week I get to hear pretty much everything fresh and live. 14 shows in 2 months, holla holla at me.

It's nice knowing

Currently Watching: Top Design

I'll always be better than you.

"I'm a 'non-conformist' just like everyone else"

Currently Listening: Good Old War

Pages 29-40 define me from age 16 - present. It feels great to know that I'm not the only person thinking what I think. I see through the typos and find myself in between the lines. Thank you so much for the words that I've always wanted to say but never knew how.

(I want to be a minimalist)

I got a 20/20 on my first college paper. I know what its like to be proud of myself. What I don't know is how I'm going to live up to that grade. Hmmm. I can't say I'm doing too well seeing as how my first draft is due in 12.5 hours and all I have is my brainstorm (a bad one at that) done and I'm writing down these facts instead of working on getting them accomplished. Nevertheless, I'm currently and A+ student and by God, am I thrilled about that.

In other news, Clay Aiken finally came out. Hoorah!

GUESS WHAT TODAY IS?!

It is Friendiversary! Amber is sitting next to me right now reading some weird zodiac book and telling me random things I honestly could care less about. Vik went to bed about 4 hours ago because she's a party pooper. Anyway, this is our 2nd anniversary and it still feels like a week ago that we met. We'll probably tell that story 5 more times again today, but it's always fun to talk about. We're probably going to watch some band dvds now. Or sleep. Both sound great.


OH AND IN OTHER NEWS!
I AM A LICENSED DRIVER!!!

really man?

Currently Watching: David Letterman

I would do anything to fix everything. I wish this was last year again, it was a lot more simpler. Oh and go back to wherever you came from, PLEASE.

I'm really thrilled for Friday to be here. And Saturday for that matter. I love my 3 day weekends.

WORDS OF ADVISE: never ever ever ever watch the "controversial" version on the film 1984. HOLY MOLEY THAT WAS SO AWFUL.

I'm itchy all over.

Currently Reading: 1984

I have 12 bites on my legs. This sucks. I'm debating job hunting.
Yay/Nay/Shows need to stop.

chinese take-out night

Currently Watching: Batman Begins

Today was very up and down. I woke up feeling well below par. I don't know why, I was just really tired and not feeling too well. Class made me feel a billion times better, and then going to Starbucks was really nice. I'm topping the night off with some take-out, Batman Begins (which I've never seen) and some good/bad news about shows. Awesome.

I just deleted my Truth Box off of my myspace. I've had it for quite a while, and I got way more truths than I ever expected. Some I know exactly who left them and others I'll never know...honestly, I'm just glad I got them. Here's some of my favorites:
- I wish I would've gotten to know you...
- everyday i miss you more and more
- you are one of the meanest people i hardly know yet i wish i knew you more. (I totally do not understand this one, so that's why it's so memorable to me.)
- I think you are such a genuine person, honestly. & you talk to people without prejudgment. i wish there was a way we could see each other more!
- You are an amazing girl, and who ever knows you is lucky to have such a good person in their life.

:)

it's hard to keep a secret

Currently Listening: The Hush Sound - Momentum

This weekend was hard. I feel like I'm leading a double life now. I want to post so much more about everything but I can't. I really feel like I'm hiding in this blog again. I don't like this at all.

Hey man - GO AWAY.

Ignore that. Some random things I haven't talked about: I'll be a licensed driver super soon. I'm loving the idea of this, and of hanging out with Amber a ton more since I can go stalk her now! I spent $107 on JM tickets. If that show isn't everything and more I'll probably never see them again. And trust me, I'll keep my word just as I am for Panic. I'm getting $134 every other week from unemployment. Yes, I love free money. I'm loving using my camera more and more. I still suck at uploading though, sorry! I can't wait for Desperate Housewives to start, and ER. Project Runway is going good...minus Blaine leaving, what was that crazy mess about?! I miss talking to Toni a lot, we've been lacking some good stories lately. (sorry) I think that's about it. I'll be updating a lot more now that I don't have anything else to fill my days.

Oh, I almost forgot...my hair is black and I have a 3 week old beta named Fancypants.

you're moving away

now i've lost all hope.
when i said "i'll miss you" i meant it. seeing each other "soon" never happened. why?
goodbye and good luck, i('ll always) love you.

and for the record, you made my life a whole lot better. thanks.

911

I was in the 6th grade. I was putting on my shoes when the first one hit. I ran to my mom's room and watched them fall. At school everyone was whispering about it, we were worried we couldn't celebrate Amanda's birthday that day anymore. (We didn't) Nochawitz didn't even know it was
going on, and his brother worked there. Most of the day we sat in Christiano's room and heard about it, watching everything a 12 year old shouldn't be watching. One by one students got pulled out of class, as the Sears Tower could be a target, and their parents were worried. My
mom didn't get me early, but she did pick me up. On the radio the dj was discussing Bin Laden; this was a foreign name to me, I knew nothing about the people, nor had I ever heard about Iraq or any of those countries. All day I watched TV and learned and soaked up all of this new information. That night we sat outside in silence, along with all of our neighbors, and lit candles and waved our American flag proudly. This was my first experience at patriotism. This was my first experience with
mass hate. Mass destruction. Mass sadness. Mass grief. This was my first experience with the politics of the world, and from then on I craved learning more. I love that I live where I live (no matter the state) and that I have my freedoms. I will never forget September 11th.

what you do to me

Today in class we had to have our peer editors read our papers aloud to us. I had to tune mine out because I was too scared to get emotional and lose it in class. My face got hot and my eyes started to swell, but I fought back the urge.

I miss you.

VMAS

My 9th VMA's. This year was a big improvement from last year's, if I do say so myself. I've been watching this award show religiously every year since 1999, solely for Britney Spears. God, I love that girl and I'm so glad she finally one not one, but TREE awards. Overall, the show was a good B+ for me, not one of the best (those are definitely only held at Radio City), but not as bad as 07 or Miami.

I've been avoiding posting for a while. I'll be back soon, pinky promise.

right now

I feel like an awful friend.





















this isn't my fault.

College : Week 1

What do I have to say about my Week 1 experience as a college student? Well first off, I do not miss high school. I don't miss the bells ringing, the stupid people in the halls, multiple classes, stupid people, humidity, crowded halls of stupid people...and so forth. It's nice having 1 class a day, 4 days out of the week. Plus, I have both fairly early in the day which leaves me a lot of time to...nap.

My classes are:
Monday/Wednesday 12-2:55p - English Composition 1 (Olma)
Tuesday/Thursday 9-10:55a - Elementary Algebra (Stockwell)

I'm really loving the English class. It's long, but it doesn't feel too drawn out. My friend Kim is there with me, and so far everything is pretty great. I really can't wait to get started on writing our first essay. My math class is...well, it's math to say the least. It's ridiculously simple (think 5th grade math) so I'm basically just taking it to get it out of the way. It's not that long of a class anyway, so I know it won't worry me. I have to say though. Even with going to a community college, this junk is EXPENSIVE. That alone makes me appreciate the free public high school(s) I went to.

So, so far so good. I'm not sure what will happen after December yet. I know I've stated my goals, but who's to say that's what will happen? Heck, this time last year I thought I was still going to Full Sail...hah.

ps. this is my 100th post of the year :)

sorry but,

NOUOSTSUJEKILTNODHEUPULLURGNIKUCFSTNAPPU

-______-

There's drama (for lack of a better word) going on a my social circle. F this S.

"the soda exploded on a passenger"

We're on a layover in Indianapolis right now. These flight attendants are stupid. I can't believe I'm already on my way back home, it feels like a day ago that we left. I can't lie though...I'm excited to sleep in my own bed again! See you soon enough jax!

*editwut.

I'm lying on Amber's floor right now, watching the chris dvd. (just saw katie haha) my mom should be home soon...can't wait! amber and I won stuffed animals (2) out of the claw game machine at winn-dixie. oh, and we totally missed a hurrican/tropical storm? yeah, crazy.

*editwut#2.

It's around 2 am and I just hungout with Kristen and Trey and I just have to say...it's great to be home.

WEDDING

So it's about 10 am, and we're doing nothing...yet. We've been up since 5, I'm already tired and even though we all look pretty gorgeous right now, I'm ready to get this day over with already. The photographer is so stupid and cheesy, he's really annoying me. More later...

*Edit#1:
Its raining and a car just spun out in front of us, wooooah. We're almost at the church now, I'm excited!!

*Edit#2:
Church just ended. The ceremony was so pretty and emotion-filled. I'm so happy Yelisa and Frank are finally married!! I hated having to see 'him' there, but I survived. Oh, and I still hate the photographer, but the video guy is really cute hah.

*Edit#3:
I'M BORED. We're waiting for the reception to start now...1 more hour! Where are my hor devoirs?!

Edit#4
Party is overrr. We're on our way home now. The reception was awesome and yesss, I danced AND caught the bouquet! And I taught amber how to dance! The food was really EH but whatever. I'm glad this day is over and done, I'm beat. Also, there was a really cute bus boy that Amber was flailing over and Chrissy was dying laughing about it. I love my cousins! And for the record - I do not want anything to do with you, nor do I care to establish a 'relationship' When we left, that was for good.

Anyway. One last hooray for Y&F. I love seeing my family together and happy, and this month has been so amazing. See you tomorrow, Sunshine State!

ASDFGHJKL

I just saw the last person on the entire face of the planet that I would ever want to see. Thanks a TON northriverside mall. A million old emotions are filling me up. I'm enraged and I'm scared and I don't even want to be in this place anymore. Its time to run again. Its time for a change of plans.

*Edit:
I'm at the rehearsal (I hate spelling that word) dinner right now. Today was pretty stressful. I'm better now though, and I look cute ;) plus, the pizza is delicious here. Tomorrow is going to be more than eventful!

Why does it cost me $12 to see my own city?

SO! Today we (my mom vik amber and myself) went to lunch with two of my mom's really good friends, Lily and Esther. I LOVE MY MOMS FRIENDS. Lily can make me laugh for days on end, I absolutely adore that lady! Lunch was great too, can't beat that mexican cafeteria food! Anywho. After that we went to Jamba and cute boy started dying over Amber again. I got my last Acai of the trip (:[ ) and we walked ove rto the Sears Tower. So okay, here's my question: WHY DOES THIS ELEVATOR RIDE COST SO MUCH? Really, I just do not understand. I won' lie though, it was a sweet view, and I learned some cool facts...but I don't know about $10+ worth. Anywho. After that we walked down to Garret's, got a mixed bag and then went to the Target on Clark and Roosevelt. (which I absolutely love) I miss those cart escalators! After some wandering in there we headed home, which brings me to the end of today! Time to start packing soon...this trip ends in 3 days...

IN DA CORNFIELDS!

So this morning we went to the final dress fittings. That was quick and easy. What wasn't so quick and easy? Going to freaking the middle of nowhere Illinois, that's what. HOLY SHEESH CHEESE, DID YOU GUYS REALLLLLLLLY NEED TO MOVE OUT THAT FAR?! We were seriously almost in Iowa, gosh. After about 3 hours of driving we got to his house, stood in AW at his humungous tv, then I dashed down to the computer to buy tai tickets. Then we listened to bmth and other junk, ate some chips and salsa, and sat around. Then we took polaroids in front of the corn. Then we ate yummy tostadas! Then everyone went jumping in the trampoline, except for me, but then I did and almost died. THANKS AMBER. After that I attenpted to catch a lightning bug but miserably failed. Then we played with glowsticks!!! Throwing them in the night sky is AWESOME, try it sometime. THEN I SAW THE BIG DIPPER! That was seriously so cool. Then we ate ice cream sandwiches. And then we left :( Cheese is my favorite person you guys just DO. NOT. UNDERSTAND. I love you Cheeeeeese! (even if you live forever away.)

WEEEEE!

We're on our way to Nicole's house! So happy to see another one of my favorite girls in the world! Afterwards we're going to woodfield. YES!

*edit. we just spent about an hour in walmart with nicole making fun of the jobros. heck yes.

You stupid little retard!

HA!
We're at Toni's still, watching Drop Dead, Gorgeous. I love this movie. We saw Juno earlier, I can't believe it took me that long to see it! It was great of course. Toni's mom made us the best pancakes, and we've just sort of been chilling since.
Last night we saw Phelps win his 8th medal, so awesomeee. I love that guy. Phelps addict since 2004 babyyyy. I'm actually amazed at how much Olympics we've been able to watch. I was scared we'd miss them. We actually saw 7 /8 of his swims too, go us!
Anyway, after that we talked for a while which I REALLY love more than typing to Toni cause that's all we do! Don't get me wrong, I love our novels, but actually being able to TALK to my best friend is nice too :)
We're leaving soon...going back home is going to be nice, mostly cause I get to see my mommy. But Sheboygan is so quiet, I love it. I might just have to come back up for a visit!

Train ride

Amber and I are on our Amtrack train to Milwaukee right now. To be honest, we ALMOST missed it. We got up at noon today...our alarm was set for NINE. Sheesh. We were obviously dead tired. It was funny becasue my mom woke us up and I totally wasn't expecting her, so I was sort of lost for a minute haha. Anyway, she drove us to Union Station, we dashed to the train, and found out we actually did have some time to like...eat or pee or something, but we didn't. So now we're hungry but about halfway there. Toni, here I come!!

OH! My mom surprised me with a 55-200mm lens, ah! I loveeee it (and her of course!) Edit later probably.


Hello, edit!
so we're at Earth Fest right now, in Sheboygan. We got to the train station, Toni and her mom picked us up, and we drove up to Sheboygan. It's SO pretty here!! Toni then drove us around looking for a place to eat...we finally ended up at the Weather Center. Jacksonville needs a place like that! It was sort of pricey, but realllly delicious. Then we went back to Toni's, watch some TV, and then now here we are. There are SO many hippies here, hahah. Anyway, Love Muffin is just starting, I sort of can't believe I'm seeing them (haha...only Toni will get this) anddd yeah! They sound good, and the weather is nice, and I'm SO glad to be here. Thank you Toni!

friends for the weekend

It's 2*Sweet day! I'm excited to see them here again. It's been over 2 years! Katie should be here soon to pick us up, I'll edit later with all the happenings!

EDITZ #1
So Mojoe's is...different. There's food...and black lights...and yeah. Chicago kids are so weird. Anyway. There's a billion bands playing tonight, we're just waiting around for the sweets. Yeah. My back light is being stupid.

EDITZ #2.
OH MY GOD MY BACK LIGHT IS GONE :(

EDITZ #3.
So I'm struggling to type this in the little light I have from streetlights, gah. The show was great, seeing 2*S with a crowd is SO nice. Then we sat outside of Taco Bell and ate, yay for loitering! Now Katie is taking us home. We're kindaaaa late haha, oh well. I'm so angry about my dumb light. I can't see anything!!!

EDITZ #4
KATIE JUST GAVE ME THE BEST LATE GIFT EVER!!! Haha. My mom comes tomorrow, YES! And I leave for Sheboygan, double YES!

wow

It's 4pm. We've done NOTHING today but watch TV, curl our hair, and eat bread. It's been a wasted day, but staying home is nice too. Cheese is coming over later, I'm so excited to see him. And we're going to Jamba later! HOLLA.

bbq

I saw a bunch of people I didn't care to today, but I also saw Keeley! and Lisa! and YMIJAN!!! Finally! And it was for well more than just 90 minutes. We went to Keeley's end of summer bbq, which got rained on, but was cute anyway. Seeing LP people that I never liked was weird. Eating bagel chips was fun. And then we went home. Lovingggg this trip so much.

R I O T!

Today we saw Paramore. All I have to say is:

GREAT SHOW!
I LOVE PHANTOM PLANET!
I'M GOING TO BE IN A DVD!

I'm so beat. We're walking to Walgreen's right now. I'm so gross smelling!

Alvarez

Today was a very relaxed day. It started at around 10, as normal, and we didn't plan on doing much. We decided on going to Bacci's again, with Sara this time to catch up. It was SO great to see Sara. I've known her since I was 3 (that's 15 years people!), we are literally like sisters. So we walked over to Bacci, inconveniently behind Maria, whom neither of us wanted to see. So we ate, caught up, the whole 9 yards. She joined the MArines, that really caught me off guard, but sh'es my best friend, so I support her 100%. Afterwards, neither of us were doing anything so we decided to go to Sara's. HOLY MOLEY her house is amazing. It's totally remodeled and it looks like it's out of a magazine, so nice. We all sat and played gamboys for a good hour +. It was so awesome. Then we watched Batman on bootleg! Couldn't get any better, could it?! I'm loving being home!

On the way to the Cute show...

UHG. Why didn't anyone tell me about this drama with the Red line on weekends and having to take the brown line and blah blah blah. I need to get to the Metro now people, NOW. I'll update later with post show info.

SO. Show's over and now we're sitting in McD's. We got to the Metro at liek 2:30...a freaking enourmous line was waiting for us, that was a w e s o m e. (not) Anyway, we waited, ate some food from that hotdog stand across the street, passed out all my promo (WOOOOOH!) and waited some more. Right before doors Katie got there, I was glad to see a familiar face amongst a crowd of strangers. We went in and we re in the 2nd-ish row. Vik had a fanboy behind her watching her play Tetris haha, and Amber and I had a crazy weird girl in front of us. And she smelled, uhg. Anyway, Chicago crowds are OBNOXIOUS, just saying. And GOD, the Metro's sound is really horrible. (I love Jax venues, sorry to say) Danger Radio was good, Ace was good, Power(suck)space was.....jesus. I almost HATE how much I love their ep but how tragic they are. I'm not getting into this, whatever. Cute was good. I love them, whatever. The crowd was ridiculous. Afterwards, I got the DR cd, and I said hi to Chris. Mostly cause my mom told me too since I hadn't said hi to Anthony. Now we're at McDonald's and Katie and Amber are heckling Powerspace. FUN STUFF.